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Writing Samples
Band 4

Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of the modern working world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#schools #subjects #students #demands #world
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Nowadays the education system is totally changed because varieties of opportunities are available outside in different fields.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the question for each and everyone is whether traditional
subjects
 like history and chemistry are helpful for students or for the modern working
world
 traditional
subjects
 should not teach them. Let us analyse
this
. To start with, traditional
subjects
 are very important to learn in a student's life. It gives information and
knowledge
 towards how things establish earlier and how they led to the modern
world
.
For instance
, the history subject gives details on how our ancestors fought with the Britishers and how they contributed towards our nation to make it free from the Britishers. Because of them only we are living
this
 peaceful life. On the contradictory side, in
this
 technological
world
, children should get practical
knowledge
 only believed by many critics. In
this
 working ,
world
 employers are looking for practical
knowledge
 in candidates when they started applying to companies. From my point of view, I totally agree that schools are focusing too much on
Add an article
a
the
show examples
traditional
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 which is not beneficial for students to know the demands of
this
 modern working
world
.
To sum up
, traditional
subjects
 are good to learn about gaining extra
knowledge
however
 it is useless in
this
 technological
world
 where everything depends on practical
knowledge
.
Submitted by vimalbosamia on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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