IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of the modern working world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays the education system is totally changed because varieties of opportunities are available outside in different fields.
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However
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,However
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 the question for each and everyone is whether traditional
subjects
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 like history and chemistry are helpful for students or for the modern working
world
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 traditional
subjects
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 should not teach them. Let us analyse
this
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. To start with, traditional
subjects
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 are very important to learn in a student's life. It gives information and
knowledge
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 towards how things establish earlier and how they led to the modern
world
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.
For instance
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, the history subject gives details on how our ancestors fought with the Britishers and how they contributed towards our nation to make it free from the Britishers. Because of them only we are living
this
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 peaceful life. On the contradictory side, in
this
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 technological
world
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, children should get practical
knowledge
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 only believed by many critics. In
this
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 working ,
world
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 employers are looking for practical
knowledge
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 in candidates when they started applying to companies. From my point of view, I totally agree that schools are focusing too much on
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a
the
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traditional
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 which is not beneficial for students to know the demands of
this
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 modern working
world
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.
To sum up
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, traditional
subjects
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 are good to learn about gaining extra
knowledge
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however
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 it is useless in
this
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 technological
world
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 where everything depends on practical
knowledge
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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