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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There are argumentative notions heating up a debate over which generation should be concentrated on.
While
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 some claim that it is significant for
people
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 to look into their family history, the opposite makes a statement that
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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current and future one. which is necessary to focus on,
plays
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and plays
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such
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 a paramount important role in human life. In my opinion,
while
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 each has its own perks, it is optimal to combine both mentioned sides. Without a shadow of a doubt, researching various types of historical family knowledge is quite important.
People
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 could have a greater grasp of their family trees and their ancient, precious history by doing
this
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.
In addition
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, inhabitants must be highly liable for maintaining their previous value
in addition
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 to having successful traditional careers. More precisely, it may be said that early embroidery skills,
such
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 as carpentry, weaving, and pottery, are fascinating examples that should be preserved and taught to children right away to prevent their extinction.
Therefore
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, it is imperative that
people
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's family histories be looked into because of these important customs.
While
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 the redeeming feature of knowing the preceding information
of
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about
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people
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’s
family
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families
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 is widely acknowledged, Paying attention to the present and future generations is
also
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 rather important.
In particular
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,
this
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 level is shown as the one on which ordinary individuals might immediately rely when they encounter difficulties.
For example
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, if residents need to deal with their financial issues, they are able to get rid of their guardians and replace them with their cousins, brothers, or any other relatives. Despite
this
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 evident reality,
people
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 have a natural desire to care for their loved ones and to strengthen the bonds of family.
Therefore
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, there are strong benefits that emphasize how important it is to focus on
this
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 generation. In conclusion, both statements have proved the essence of getting to know about their elder family values
as well as
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 revolving
about
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around
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 the present and future generations.

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question throughout, offering a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal stance in the conclusion. Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments for both sides and your own opinion. This will make your response more complete and comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Aim for clearer organization and better linkage between ideas to enhance Coherence and Cohesion. Though you have a logical structure, making transitions smoother and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea will greatly improve the readability and flow of your essay. Additionally, a more explicit introduction of main points at the beginning can help guide the reader.
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