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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Should young children be encouraged to follow strict rules based on their cultural traditions or allowed to behave freely? Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#children #rules #traditions
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People
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 have different opinions regarding raising
kids
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. Some of them consider
that is
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 more important to ensure that they keep traditional
values
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 than to be able to express their own ideas.
Although
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 both have pros and cons, I think
that is
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 better to give the youngsters freedom to behave
according
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toaccording
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 their own ideas. Keeping traditional
values
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 and cultural lifestyle is important to
people
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 so they can
identfy
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identify
 with their roots and preserve some of
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values
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the values
show examples
 of their ancestors. Having some
things
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 in common helps children to connect
between
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with
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 each other, so they can create stronger
bond
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bonds
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 inside
of
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apply
show examples
their community or family. Despite these facts, blindly sticking to old folklore can be very limiting for
childrens
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children's
children
 life in modern society considering that there is a lot of
things
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 and ways changed now and that
nowdays
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nowadays
show examples
people
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 have knowledge about more
things
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 than in the past when those traditions started, but
also
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 they are getting already prepared reactions on certain situations, so they will not be able to react properly in different
enviroment
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environment
environments
. One
of
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apply
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typical
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the typical
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examples
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example
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 of
community
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a community
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 with
strict
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the strict
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 traditional way of raising
kids
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 are
Amishs
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Amish
. They have very strong bonds within their communities thanks to
same
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the same
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values
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 that they respect, but
in
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at
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 the same time they have very restricted
acess
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access
 to a lot of modern knowledge and technologies which leads to
limited
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a limited
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to
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apply
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lack of some basics that
kids
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 need, like good healthcare
for instance
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.
Encouring
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Encouraging
 children to have their own opinion and way to do
things
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 has great benefits for their social
developement
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development
,
but
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and
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also
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 promotes their congenital skills. By
addopting
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adopting
 and creating their own
behaveoral
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behavioural
 patterns, youngsters learn how to act in certain situations and how to solve different problems.
Also
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,
forsing
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forcing
 their brain to work harder, they will be able to better faster adopt learn and adopt new skills. In conclusion,
although
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 keeping tradition is important for
people
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, following strict rules can be very limiting for
kids
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, so allowing them to create their own patterns of behaviour brings more benefits to them.
Submitted by martinapesa11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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