IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#numbers #adults #sports #area #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph gives information about how many people joined various major
sports
Use synonyms
 in some
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 for over 20 years
started
Change the form of the verb
starting
show examples
 from 1997. In general, almost all major
sports
Use synonyms
 have
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 trend, except cricket.
Moreover
Linking Words
, gentle walking was the most
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
 among others from 1997 to 2017. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a difference in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people who participate in major
sports
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1997 and 2017. In 1997, gentle walking have the highest
participants
Correct quantifier usage
number of participants
show examples
 compared to other
sports
Use synonyms
 with 50,000
participant
Change to a plural noun
participants
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 number continues to increase and reach 55,000
participant
Change to a plural noun
participants
show examples
 in 2017.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, cricket
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to go through a significant decrease
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 20 years from more than 35,000 joiners to below 10,000 joiners.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
show examples
 gentle walking, there are basketball, football, and hiking
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 gained popularity in
Linking Words
this periods
Change the determiner
this period
these periods
show examples
 of time. Other
sports
Use synonyms
 like jogging and
aerobic
Replace the word
aerobics
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 not changed much from 1997 to 2017 with participant around 33,000 people.
Submitted by fazria.ayuandina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sports with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • adult demographic
  • comparison
  • percent change
  • significant increase/decrease
  • trend analysis
  • sports popularity
  • ranking changes
  • general patterns
  • social factors
  • 20-year period
  • time span
  • major sports
  • data interpretation
  • highlight features
What to do next:
Look at other essays: