IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #research #history #focus #future #generations
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that learning
literature
 at school makes students’ time be wasted. From my point of view,
while
this
 statement is valid to some extent I do not consider myself a proponent of
this
 notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, absorbing
literature
 is one of the intriguing ways to have job opportunities after graduation. The explanation for
this
 could be that nowadays many enterprises require their employee to have good communication skills, so learning
literature
 at school every day assists them enhance and broaden their word and use it suitable for every situation. To be more specific, if you want to land a decent job with a stable salary in a leading company
such
 as Big4, Vin
complex
Capitalize word
Complex
show examples
,... having the ability to use words well will be an advantage for you to accept easily.
Hence
, digesting
literature
 helps for their future.
While
 the redeeming features of learning
literature
 at school are widely acknowledged, its counterpart still lingers. It might be because, there are numerous careers not need to use
literature
, so the time for
literature
 learning can be considered a burden for them when have to take in too many subjects. To be more specific,
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doctors and singers can be cited as examples.
Thus
,
literature
 can be a serious burden for some students whose future line work does not require that. In my opinion,
literature
 is a fascinating subject for learner and it
also
 assists them in their future career.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the question given. Start by clearly stating how your discussion relates to the topic of researching family history versus focusing on present and future generations.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively by introducing each viewpoint in separate paragraphs and clearly signaling when you are shifting from discussing one view to the other. This will improve the logical flow of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay. Your introduction should outline the points you plan to discuss, and your conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your opinion, directly related to the initial topic.
task response
Support your main points with more specific examples and references to strengthen your argument. This will help make your points more compelling and substantiate your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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