Nowadays, the football supporters behave violently. What is the cause? How can we solve it?

#football #supporters

Today many people argue that

supporters

of football

very

Add a missing verb

are very

show examples

rude when defending

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

team

This

Change the determiner

These

show examples

supporters

behave

Wrong verb form

behaving

show examples

violently is what causes it too fanatical.

Therefore

, one potential solution to the

supporters

behave

Wrong verb form

behaving

show examples

violently is giving education

how

Change preposition

on how

show examples

support

the right way. The causes

Change preposition

apply

show examples

supporters

behave

Wrong verb form

behaving

show examples

violently is too extremist because the followers feel disappointed when saw the state of

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

team

lost in games.

That is

to say, they do not know how to control their emotions, and they do whatever it takes to vent their emotions until they are satisfied. Afterwards, the result of their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

loss

Correct article usage

the loss

show examples

of all involved parties.

For example

Change preposition

in The

show examples

The

Correct article usage

show examples

incident in

Correct article usage

an Indonesian

show examples

Indonesian

Correct your spelling

Indonesia

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

football match riots ensued

fans

Change preposition

among fans

show examples

because the club

those

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they

support

lose and they attack anyone resulting in casualties.

On the other hand

, one of

Correct article usage

the solution

show examples

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

for reducing losses from abusive

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

supporters

is giving education

how

Change preposition

on how

show examples

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

well behaved

Add a hyphen

well-behaved

show examples

fans

That is

to say, the government give some rules for

fans

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

teach

Correct subject-verb agreement

teaches

show examples

how to properly

support

Correct pronoun usage

themsupport

show examples

. Afterwards, if

fans

know how to

support

correctly it will benefit the other

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

because it is essential to

supporters

For instance

fans

in Japan continue to behave well,

while

his

team

suffered defeat in the match

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they respect the players, so when they are doing it will have a positive impact or there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not any big disadvantages.

To conclude

, there are

Add an article

the cause

a cause

show examples

cause

Fix the agreement mistake

causes

show examples

fans

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

like it because they are too fanatical when supporting his

team

. A great way to tackle

supporters

Correct pronoun usage

who behave

show examples

behave

Wrong verb form

behaving

show examples

violently

this

Change preposition

about this

show examples

problem is

giving

Change preposition

by giving

show examples

education

how

Change preposition

on how

show examples

support

correctly

Correct pronoun usage

them correctly

show examples

. Where possible,

such

fans

respect their

team

whatever happens in games.

Submitted by muh.yassirullah on Mon Jan 30 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, the football supporters behave violently. What is the cause? How can we solve it?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

In many countries import food from other contry of the world.what are the advantages and disadvantages of this kasur.

There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?