IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, some people believe advertising is useful and informative. Others believe advertising gives false information about the products and increase the price of goods.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Certain individuals claim that
advertisements
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 give useful information about
products
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,
while
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 others believe that companies lie to
people
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 by giving spurious data in order to increase their profit.
This
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 essay will argue that,
although
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 in many cases, the real properties of
products
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 do not match expectations, advertising helps us become familiar with newly released
goods
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. On the one hand, some
advertisements
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 contain untruthful data, which disappoints consumers. Certain organizations overdraw their
products
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 with the intention of
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 sales because these items will attract
people
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's attention.
However
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, after purchasing, they will be frustrated as their expectations about
goods
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 do not match reality.
For example
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, in 2018, the company of technological devices called "Huawei" got complaints about the state of their new
smart watch
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smartwatch
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 after the popularity of
advertisements
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 related to
this
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 product on social media.
On the other hand
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, humanity gets to know about news through advertising.
That is
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 to say that several businesses do promotion, which involves information about properties, prices, and interesting details.
Subsequently
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,
people
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 can find out what they want by searching for desired
products
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 on the internet, reading presented sentences, or accidentally seeing what they have wished for a long time in social media networking.
For instance
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, the well-known business "Dior" releases
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 items with truthful
advertisements
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, giving
people
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 from all points of the world the opportunity to acquire them without any doubt. In my opinion, the presence of ads has its own benefits,
such
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 as being informative and useful, which allow
people
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 to become familiar with the features of needed
goods
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. In conclusion, sometimes
advertisements
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 give fake information to increase the price of
goods
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.
However
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, I believe that advertising is helpful on most occasions, providing customers with a lot of data.

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Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay demonstrates a clear structure and supported main points, consider elaborating further on both views to provide a more balanced discussion. Adding a bit more detail to each argument would strengthen the analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly connected to the next. Using transition words or phrases can help to illustrate the logical progression of ideas between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Focus on providing a richer variety of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to enhance the overall readability and scoring of your essay.
Task Achievement
It’s important to fully develop your viewpoints with additional supporting details and examples to ensure clarity and depth in your arguments.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly convey the topic and your opinion.
Supported Main Points
The essay uses relevant and specific examples, which help to support the main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer awareness
  • persuasive techniques
  • emotional appeal
  • misleading advertisements
  • informed purchasing decisions
  • exaggeration
  • competition
  • innovation
  • higher price
  • product quality
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