Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many

people

claim that music is

effective

Add an article

an effective

show examples

way to assemble individuals together from various countries and ages. I firmly agree with the idea and I think it should be increased among

humanbeings

Correct your spelling

human beings

To begin

with, it is generally acknowledged that music plays

crucial

Add an article

a crucial

show examples

role in

people

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

in terms of

chainging

Correct your spelling

changing

their

mood

Fix the agreement mistake

moods

show examples

and

also

creating a strong bond between different cultures. The latest researches show that the amount of time that our community spend

to listen

Change the verb form

listening

show examples

to songs

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

dramatically soaring these days. What I mean is that

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

population

Fix the agreement mistake

populations

show examples

all over the world have

Change the article

the

show examples

inclination to interact with foreign

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

and learn their traditions by

listening

Add the preposition

tolistening

show examples

their songs.

Therefore

this

makes it clear why it is a common belief that humans can be informed about

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

population's culture with

this

method.

Secondly

, another noticeable point is that

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

potential to trigger society to reveal their emotions and thoughts. One clear explanation is that we might touch

moral

Correct article usage

the moral

show examples

values of

people

with

Change preposition

show examples

knowing their tastes in

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

Moreover

, I should make a point that it is

also

a better point of view in order to bring

people

from

Change preposition

show examples

different ages can be possible by attending their songs. So, it cannot be denied that music has the power

make

Fix the infinitive

to make

show examples

humanity more willing to diverse traditions, and make easier the transmission of customs or beliefs from

Correct determiner usage

one

show examples

country to another nation. In conclusion, I concur with supporters of the statement that

this

activity among countries may improve the unity of individuals and the flexibility of interacting with other nationalities.

Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on Mon Jan 30 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

large coporation should provide sport and social facilities to community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Homelessness in increasingly in many major city's around the world. What are the problem and give solutions.

Many parents in Vietnam invest heavily into their child’s education hoping for the best. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.