«Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but often people think they should be more realistic, and think more about their future. Discuss both views a give own opinion.»

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Choosing a
profession
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can be a difficult task. And
people
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’s opinions are divided into two sides. Some
people
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believe in the
job
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that they want,
however
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, other
people
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think they should be more realistic and think more about their
future
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.
Although
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the choice of
profession
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affects a person's
future
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, he must choose what he wants to work as. Because if he gets the
job
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he wants, he will work hard and become the best in that field. A
profession
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is a choice of our
future
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.
Moreover
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, when choosing a
job
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, we must be careful. If a person chooses a
profession
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without thinking about
future
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development,
then
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he can lose time spent on another, not worthwhile
profession
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.
For instance
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, These days,
people
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, who achieve success, choose a realistic
profession
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.
Therefore
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, it’s important to opt career by looking at the
future
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.
On the other hand
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, nowadays teenagers are encouraged to choose jobs
according to
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their interests. Because, if
people
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opt for the
job
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, which they want, they will enjoy the process.
For example
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, It is proven that
people
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, who choose the
profession
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of their dreams, are happier. A dream
job
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motivates young
people
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to work more and better. In conclusion,
although
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choosing a
profession
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thinking
Correct word choice
and thinking
show examples
about the
future
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is more successful, choosing a career based on your dreams is better because you will be happier. Despite a high salary and prestigious
job
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, a person should choose a
job
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in which he is interested
,
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apply
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since the main thing is not the result, the main thing is the process. I personally think that teenagers should choose their jobs
according to
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their interests.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
To strengthen Coherence and Cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, maintaining a clear line of reasoning. For example, the connection between selecting a job and job satisfaction could be further explored for logical flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
For Task Achievement, adding more diverse or specific examples would enhance the argument. Consider including examples of real-life cases where choosing a dream job leads to high satisfaction, or conversely, how focusing on future prospects might ensure stability.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, reinforcing the main themes of the essay. This provides a clear resolution to your argument.
complete response
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument as per the task requirement, providing a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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