«Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but often people think they should be more realistic, and think more about their future. Discuss both views a give own opinion.»
Choosing a
profession
can be a difficult task. And people
’s opinions are divided into two sides. Some people
believe in the job
that they want, however
, other people
think they should be more realistic and think more about their future
. Although
the choice of profession
affects a person's future
, he must choose what he wants to work as. Because if he gets the job
he wants, he will work hard and become the best in that field.
A profession
is a choice of our future
. Moreover
, when choosing a job
, we must be careful. If a person chooses a profession
without thinking about future
development, then
he can lose time spent on another, not worthwhile profession
. For instance
, These days, people
, who achieve success, choose a realistic profession
. Therefore
, it’s important to opt career by looking at the future
.
On the other hand
, nowadays teenagers are encouraged to choose jobs according to
their interests. Because, if people
opt for the job
, which they want, they will enjoy the process. For example
, It is proven that people
, who choose the profession
of their dreams, are happier. A dream job
motivates young people
to work more and better.
In conclusion, although
choosing a profession
thinking
about the Correct word choice
and thinking
future
is more successful, choosing a career based on your dreams is better because you will be happier. Despite a high salary and prestigious job
, a person should choose a job
in which he is interested,
since the main thing is not the result, the main thing is the process. I personally think that teenagers should choose their jobs Remove the comma
apply
according to
their interests.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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coherence cohesion
To strengthen Coherence and Cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, maintaining a clear line of reasoning. For example, the connection between selecting a job and job satisfaction could be further explored for logical flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
For Task Achievement, adding more diverse or specific examples would enhance the argument. Consider including examples of real-life cases where choosing a dream job leads to high satisfaction, or conversely, how focusing on future prospects might ensure stability.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, reinforcing the main themes of the essay. This provides a clear resolution to your argument.
complete response
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument as per the task requirement, providing a balanced perspective.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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