«Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but often people think they should be more realistic, and think more about their future. Discuss both views a give own opinion.»

Choosing a
profession
can be a difficult task. And
people
’s opinions are divided into two sides. Some
people
believe in the
job
that they want,
however
, other
people
think they should be more realistic and think more about their
future
.
Although
the choice of
profession
affects a person's
future
, he must choose what he wants to work as. Because if he gets the
job
he wants, he will work hard and become the best in that field. A
profession
is a choice of our
future
.
Moreover
, when choosing a
job
, we must be careful. If a person chooses a
profession
without thinking about
future
development,
then
he can lose time spent on another, not worthwhile
profession
.
For instance
, These days,
people
, who achieve success, choose a realistic
profession
.
Therefore
, it’s important to opt career by looking at the
future
.
On the other hand
, nowadays teenagers are encouraged to choose jobs
according to
their interests. Because, if
people
opt for the
job
, which they want, they will enjoy the process.
For example
, It is proven that
people
, who choose the
profession
of their dreams, are happier. A dream
job
motivates young
people
to work more and better. In conclusion,
although
choosing a
profession
thinking
Correct word choice
and thinking
show examples
about the
future
is more successful, choosing a career based on your dreams is better because you will be happier. Despite a high salary and prestigious
job
, a person should choose a
job
in which he is interested
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since the main thing is not the result, the main thing is the process. I personally think that teenagers should choose their jobs
according to
their interests.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To strengthen Coherence and Cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, maintaining a clear line of reasoning. For example, the connection between selecting a job and job satisfaction could be further explored for logical flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
For Task Achievement, adding more diverse or specific examples would enhance the argument. Consider including examples of real-life cases where choosing a dream job leads to high satisfaction, or conversely, how focusing on future prospects might ensure stability.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, reinforcing the main themes of the essay. This provides a clear resolution to your argument.
complete response
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument as per the task requirement, providing a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!