«Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but often people think they should be more realistic, and think more about their future. Discuss both views a give own opinion.»

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Choosing a

profession

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can be a difficult task. And

people

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’s opinions are divided into two sides. Some

people

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believe in the

job

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that they want,

however

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, other

people

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think they should be more realistic and think more about their

future

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Although

Linking Words

the choice of

profession

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affects a person's

future

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, he must choose what he wants to work as. Because if he gets the

job

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he wants, he will work hard and become the best in that field. A

profession

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is a choice of our

future

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Moreover

Linking Words

, when choosing a

job

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, we must be careful. If a person chooses a

profession

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without thinking about

future

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development,

then

Linking Words

he can lose time spent on another, not worthwhile

profession

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For instance

Linking Words

, These days,

people

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, who achieve success, choose a realistic

profession

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Therefore

Linking Words

, it’s important to opt career by looking at the

future

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, nowadays teenagers are encouraged to choose jobs

according to

Linking Words

their interests. Because, if

people

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opt for the

job

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, which they want, they will enjoy the process.

For example

Linking Words

, It is proven that

people

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, who choose the

profession

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of their dreams, are happier. A dream

job

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motivates young

people

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to work more and better. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

choosing a

profession

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thinking

Correct word choice

and thinking

show examples

about the

future

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is more successful, choosing a career based on your dreams is better because you will be happier. Despite a high salary and prestigious

job

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, a person should choose a

job

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in which he is interested

Remove the comma

apply

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since the main thing is not the result, the main thing is the process. I personally think that teenagers should choose their jobs

according to

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their interests.

makemoneyizzy16Fri Nov 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

To strengthen Coherence and Cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, maintaining a clear line of reasoning. For example, the connection between selecting a job and job satisfaction could be further explored for logical flow between paragraphs.

task achievement

For Task Achievement, adding more diverse or specific examples would enhance the argument. Consider including examples of real-life cases where choosing a dream job leads to high satisfaction, or conversely, how focusing on future prospects might ensure stability.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, reinforcing the main themes of the essay. This provides a clear resolution to your argument.

complete response

The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument as per the task requirement, providing a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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«Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but often people think they should be more realistic, and think more about their future. Discuss both views a give own opinion.»

Your opinion

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or bad thing?

Some people think person happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

One of your friends ask you to be a partner in his new business. write a letter to reply him: - give your opinion about your friend's business idea - tell him weather or not you have decided to accept his offer - and explain your reason for this decision

Some people think having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. However, others believe bskills and experience are more important. Discuss bot sides and give your opinion.