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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information on cmsumer spending items in four different countries in zoa. Of national consumer expenditure by category 2008

The table below gives information on cmsumer spending items in four different countries in zoa. Of national consumer expenditure by category 2008
#information #cmsumer #items #four #countries #zoa #consumer #expenditure #category
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The given table illustrates
on
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apply
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the percentage of spending
of
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apply
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national users spent on particular items in four different countries in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
of
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apply
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nations
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the nations
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 had the highest point on consuming fast
food
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/ drinks
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for that
of
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apply
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leisure activities/ education. There are no significant differences in consumer expenditure in
Thailand
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 and Vietnam on fast
food
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 and leisure
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
/education and
Japan
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in Japan
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 with Vietnam in shoes / watches. The proportion of consumer expenditure
in
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on
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 fast
food
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 belongs to China
with
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at
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 28,91%,
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 in four countries and three categories, higher than that of
Thailand
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13.55
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at 13.55
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%.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
shoes
Fix the agreement mistake
shoe
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/
watches
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watch
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 spending in
Thailand
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Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
was also
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 lower than
China
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in China
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 was 5.93% and 16.23% respectively.
While
Linking Words
,the figure for user investment
on
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in
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 leisure activities/ education in China was 2.21%,compared to
Thailand
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 with 3.2% The amount of money spent on fast
food
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/ drinks in Japan was 18.8%
while
Linking Words
 Vietnamese just consumed 15.77%,
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 in three categories but
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 in four countries. There was a similar in Japan and Vietnamese in spending
for
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on
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 shoes/ watches with 0.11% differences. Japanese spent money a little
with
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at
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 1.98%
while
Linking Words
 Vietnamese has the highest ones with 3.22%
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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