Some people say that if old spend time and get along with others and exercise everydau they will become fit. However , these day older people are usually lonely and do not talk to others which makes them unfit and unhappy. Whta are the reason fot this? How can this be resolved?

It is thought that it will be very helpful for elderly
people
to keep healthy if they get
accompany
Wrong verb form
accompanied
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
others and do some exercise but the fact is that these
people
normally spend their whole day with themselves
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
. In
this
essay,
this
situation will be discussed and some solutions will be provided. The first reason that can make
this
situation happen is elderly
people'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
social circle become smaller and smaller after they retired.They do not have to go out or attend some activities, some formal co-workers may not keep in touch even their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
can not go home as they are busy with work. The second reason is that old
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sometimes hard to find
frends
Correct your spelling
friends
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
elderly
Add an article
the elderly
show examples
people
do not
like
Add the particle
tolike
show examples
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long travel to visit their old
Correct your spelling
friends
frends
Correct your spelling
friends
as their
According to
a study in
korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
show examples
, 25%
mental
Change preposition
of mental
show examples
diseases happened when
people
li by a depressed
Submitted by chenkaixu9119 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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