IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
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Using
computers
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 in
education
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 has always been
the
Correct article usage
a
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 hot topic of debate. Some
people
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 believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive trend
while
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 others said that it is leading to negative consequences. One of the top reasons that make
people
Use synonyms
 think using
computers
Use synonyms
 in
education
Use synonyms
 is not a good idea is that
computers
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 are not easy to
use
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, mostly with the elders. Because the development of
computers
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 is only recent, except
the
Change preposition
for the
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 young generation, most of the elders can not
use
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computers
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 in a clear way. That makes learning even more difficult. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
people
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 who can not
spent
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spend
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 their all attention on
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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,
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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in
Change preposition
during
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
study
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 makes them can not focus on the lessons,
makes
Wrong verb form
making
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 the quality of learning
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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decrease.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 many reasons to make
people
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 believe that using
computers
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 in
education
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 is a positive trend. First of all, there is a lot of information on the internet that can be used for
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
. That strongly helps the students be more active in absorbing new knowledge. The second one, in the era of information technology development, the computer is one of the
Correct quantifier usage
pieces of equipment
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equipment
Change to a plural noun
equipments
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 which is used for learning. It is more convenient if the teachers and students know how to
use
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computers
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 to serve for
study
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, like
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 online
in
Change preposition
during
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 the period of the development of
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
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 epidemic. That ensures
safety
Add an article
the safety
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 and
also
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 helps
people
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 have no difficulty
to gain
Change the verb form
gaining
show examples
 knowledge. In conclusion, using
computers
Use synonyms
 in
education
Use synonyms
 brings more benefits for
people
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 than what can be seen. I strongly hope that
computers
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 can be used more and more in
education
Use synonyms
 to help Vietnam's
education
Use synonyms
 become more developed.
Submitted by pcamps.pr on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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