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Band 6

In many countries, crimes rates amongst younger people has been rising. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

#countries #crimes #rates #people
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Nowadays, the number of
crimes
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 among young
people
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 is constantly rising which might reflect a negative impact on society. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the causes of
this
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 issue and provide some solutions to minimise it.
To begin
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 with,
this
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 problem can be rooted in major issues of families. To illustrate, a lot of researchers linked
crimes
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 to childhood trauma. Children who tend to be violent come from broken homes or have been sexually abused.
Furthermore
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, TV and movie directors are picturing criminals as heroes which can drive young
people
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 to admire them and try to copy their
crimes
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.
In addition
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 to that, poverty is a critical cause that would lead
people
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 to try earning money in an easy way,
such
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 as selling drugs. In spite of
this
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, there are some solutions that can be done to minimise crime rates among young
people
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. First of all, the limitation of TV and movies violence is a must, since there are a lot of details on how to commit a crime.
Secondly
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, a good education on the criminal penalty would help them to decide their choices properly.
Lastly
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, encourage them to merge in society by providing them with job opportunities that offer good salaries.
To sum up
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,
crimes
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 done by young
people
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 are increasing gradually because of childhood trauma, poverty and violence in TV/movies. Solutions to
this
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 particular problem were suggested,
such
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 as education about the consequences of
crimes
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 and more job opportunities.
Submitted by rahafmesh on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rates
  • rising
  • younger people
  • causes
  • solutions
  • parental guidance
  • peers
  • socioeconomic factors
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • educational opportunities
  • media influence
  • substance abuse
  • recreational activities
  • law enforcement
  • rehabilitation programs
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