Scientists and technlogy experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technlogy #experts #society #musicians #artists

Recent development in

society

can be attributed to the advancement of science and technology. Even though music is an intrinsic part of our

society

, in the 21st century, people have put more focus on science.

This

essay focuses on two key features that aspire people to become experts in science than arts; the first is the monetary gain and the second is the ease of usage.

Firstly

, human

society

runs on money. It is imperative that when

Add an article

show examples

young adult goes out in

society

they can earn well.

Furthermore

, in the currently available ,market there are far more jobs in the STEM field compared to any other.

This

demand in scientific fields

also

translates to higher paying jobs, for ,example doctors earn an average of 80k AUD from the start , in Australia. But compared to that, an unestablished musician

earn

Change the verb form

earns

show examples

less than 30K AUD annually. Technology has made it easier to live life with greater comfort in general for human beings. Communications across the world are possible

due to

inventions

such

as the mobile phone. Plus the development of artificial intelligence has enabled the advancement of visual arts making human artists redundant. A recent study, from Melbourne university, made a prediction that AI will replace humans in the artistic world by the 22nd century.

To conclude

, technological experts are needed more in modern

society

and

hence

are well-paid and respected. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

talented artists like Koren's band BTS are well respected and have a high income, they are few and far between. In my opinion, it is only natural that people will respect scientists more

instead

of artists.

Submitted by veenanerul on Mon Jan 30 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Scientists and technlogy experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Your opinion

Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field, can have negative influences. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not enough physical exercise. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures are there to this problem?

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.