Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Education is the key that unlocks the golden door to freedom. A substantial proportion of individuals think that class companions have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
essential
Correct word choice
significant
show examples
influence as compared to family members. I partially agree with the given statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
I believe that both are vital parts of children's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. To commence with, adolescents are spending half of their time in school. They have extremely good relations with
class fellows
Check wording
their classmates
show examples
. Students can either learn new skills or acquire new information. Videlicet, pupils are trying to help each other because some students cannot understand
lecturers
Correct article usage
the lecturers
show examples
in the proper way
every
Punctuation problem
; every
show examples
classmate is trying to give
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
understanding. They can learn effectively with the help of schoolmates.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several peers are sharing the latest knowledge about
this
Linking Words
contemporary world. Some infants have hobbies to watch the latest news
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
when they discuss many topics in detail
Punctuation problem
, other
show examples
other
Use the right word
their
show examples
mates
Check wording
peers
show examples
can effortlessly learn from
this
Linking Words
student.
For example
Linking Words
, Oxford
university
Fix capitalization
University
show examples
in the USA (United States of America) revealed that more than two-fifths of juveniles are learning several skills from co-students
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as communication and interaction skills.
Thus
Linking Words
, infants are acquiring several facts from batchmates.
In addition
Linking Words
, the fact cannot be denied that parents are helping to give higher education in popular educational institutions
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
they are helping to give all these facilities in an easy way.
For instance
Linking Words
, every family member is providing hefty fees
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
are required by schools and sometimes when adolescents are suffering from depression or anxiety. It is helping to relieve these
commodities
Check wording
problems
show examples
because these problems are quite common. Parents are making
friendly
Correct article usage
a friendly
show examples
environment and scions can easily obtain
this
Linking Words
environment. Mother and father are giving their best to their offspring.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are contributing several things
without
Punctuation problem
; without
show examples
these commodities
children
Punctuation problem
, children
show examples
cannot learn comfortably.
To conclude
Linking Words
, unquestionably, every scion can learn several information from school pupils and their family members, but they can effortlessly absorb numerous
utensils
Check wording
skills
show examples
from their
mates
Check wording
peers
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly present your main ideas in separate paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports your argument.
task achievement
Try to add more examples from personal experience or well-known facts to strengthen your arguments and make them clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler sentences to express your ideas. This will make it easier for the reader to understand your points.
task achievement
The essay shows the writer's effort to balance views on the influence of classmates and parents, which is a good approach.
task achievement
The examples provided, like the statistic from Oxford University, are relevant and support your point.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: