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Band 6

Some people say that the government should not spend money building theaters and sport stadium. They should spend more on medical care and education instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #theaters #sport #stadium #care #education
The number of
people
 who pay attention to
budgets
Correct article usage
the budgets
show examples
 of authority is gradually increasing these days. Some argue that
governments
 should use their budgets to build
theatres
 and
sports
stadiums
while
 others believe that they spend money on health care and education. I agree with the latter opinion. Some claim that
governments
 are encouraged to build entertainment facilities
such
 as
theatres
 and
sports
stadiums
 because
such
 places improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life. One of the prestigious universities in Japan reported that
people
 who cannot access easily to entertainments tend to feel depressed. They
also
 reported that there are few
theatres
 and
sports
stadiums
 in rural areas and
people
 tend to suffer from mental issues.
This
 is an example of why some
people
 believe that
governments
 should spend money on building
theatres
 and
sports
stadiums
.
However
, I believe
governments
 should use their budgets on health care and education because many
people
 cannot access these enough. Recently, not only old but
also
 young
people
 have suffered from diseases
such
 as cancer and diabetes.
As well as
this
, the number of students who have financial issues and are incapable of accessing good educational sources is dramatically increasing.
For example
, my classmate in high school gave up schooling
due to
 financial issues in his family. Considering the recent health and educational conditions,
governments
 should take these situations seriously and make solutions with their money
instead
 of building entertainment facilities. In conclusion, I agree that
governments
 should spend more on medical care and education rather than building
theatres
 and
sports
stadiums
.
Submitted by ryohei.1015.golf on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • benefit
  • invest
  • long-term
  • society
  • promote
  • productive
  • innovative
  • essential
  • development
  • well-being
  • balance
  • cultural enrichment
  • social welfare
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