IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Q; Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuels for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#q #people #cost #fuels #cars #vehicles
The environmental problem
such
 as air pollution is dramatically escalating, and other people believe that increasing the
price
 of petrol for
cars
 and other transport is the best solution. I do not agree with
this
 view since it will not solve the problem to a great extent. If the
price
 of fuel increases people still need to move,
for instance
 in everyday life, students will still go to school, workers still go to work and all the transport keep running on the roads.
For
this
 reason, despite
price
 hikes in fuel
cars
 and vehicles will stay working and produce air pollution,
however
, the unfortunate individuals will struggle financially since additional payment will go for transportation, which the budget should be allocated to food.
In addition
, those who are rich will not care about the
price
 increase and continue to use their
cars
, which is unlikely to solve the issue.
Furthermore
,
cars
 and other transport are not the only cause of pollution, take
for example
, electricity and heat power
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
releases
Correct subject-verb agreement
release
show examples
 green gas, farming and agriculture
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
release methane, and factories and deforestation, which should be
taken
Verb problem
apply
show examples
controlled to mitigate the pollutants. Elevating the petrol
price
 is not actually the best solution,
however
 spreading awareness to use eco-friendly vehicles like bikes, and green vehicles powered by alternative fuel is a better option. In conclusion, the
price
 hike in petrol is not the best solution, as it can only affect the poor financially,
moreover
 giving emphasis to other pollutants as well. Encouraging people for sustainable transportation and educating them to lessen environmental problems is a better alternative.
Submitted by leoriemadeo1287 on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic but lacks depth in analysis and development of ideas. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made to enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a generally logical structure and presents clear introduction and conclusion. Work on organizing the supporting points and providing smoother transitions between ideas for better coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental problems
  • Fossil fuels
  • Alternative energy sources
  • Renewable energy
  • Public transportation
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Incentivize
  • Economic impact
  • Equity concerns
  • Sustainable infrastructure
  • Carpool
  • Commuting
  • Government revenue
  • Pollutants
  • Long-term benefits
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