IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that Information technologies have more disadvantages than advatages. To what extent do you agree?

#people #information #technologies #advatages
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It is undeniable that
information
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technologies
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 have important to living mostly,
such
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 as the internet systems able to search for interesting
information
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 easily and payment able transfer money through an app mustn't transfer through the bank.
Information
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technologies
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 make a better convenient living but have disadvantages.
for example
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, to cause some accounting officer is fired from routine
work
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 because
people
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 can use ATMs to deposit and withdraw money. The computer is one of the best examples which
prove
Correct subject-verb agreement
proves
show examples
 how
information
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technologies
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 have more advantages than disadvantages. It is essential that support us
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
 search for
information
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 for learning or writing reports until used to working. Some students learn at inconvenient education
such
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 as
have
Wrong verb form
having
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tonot
Correct your spelling
to not
 book
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 enough to teach
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 until they were supported by the government and set up with
internet
Correct article usage
an internet
show examples
 system for learning through
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
online classes.
Moreover
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, there is
also
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 a system that reduces typing errors, resulting in reduced
work
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 time.
Similarly
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, in the side of
medicine
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,medicine
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 the involvement of
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technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
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 is able to increase the patient's chances of recovery. Some
people
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 are born with
a physical abnormalities
Correct the article-noun agreement
physical abnormalities
a physical abnormality
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 that
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 them unable to live like normal
people
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 until
technologies
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 come to the rescue to make them live
Add an article
a
show examples
better
life
Replace the word
lives
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.
For example
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, hearing aids for the deaf.
In contrast
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,
information
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technologies
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 are easily accessible to make some
people
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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deceived to give personal
information
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 to bad
people
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 using illegality.
Furthermore
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, there is role-play
be
Change preposition
in be
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 call-centre calling someone to deceive to take money which is news recently. Most companies use a large number of
technologies
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 to
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 time working to increase the quality of better
work
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,
thus
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 there is
fire
Correct article usage
a fire
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someone
Change preposition
for someone
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for
Change preposition
to
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 decrease the finance of the company to be spent on enhancing better
information
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technologies
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. In conclusion,
Information
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technologies
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 have an important role in supporting the living of
people
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 to be convenient in terms of education,
work
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, and medicine.
Submitted by nakassorn on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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