In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

During several decades, the family structures and roles of family members have varied as much as the

overall

society

has. The essay below will discuss these differences and my evaluation of the circumstance. First of all, in general, the size of a family has decreased,

while

all members of a family play different roles, compared to the past

society

For instance

, a few decades ago, married couples in South Korea used to serve their grandparents, parents, and their children.

On the other hand

, more and more individuals become independent of

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

and live only with their children.

Furthermore

, sometimes there are families without spouses nor a child.

Moreover

, different from the past, not only does a father work, but all members of a family do, and males

also

take part in chores.

Accordingly

, I find

this

occurrence has positive influences on

society

. Since we are trying to enjoy our life rather than serving a big family, I find more people being satisfied with

this

new lifestyle. To illustrate

this

, as females are less tied to household chores, they can develop their careers and experience achievements as much as males do.

Consequently

, it will lead to the development of a

society

and a nation because all individuals try harder and harder for success.

Therefore

, it is definitely a significant change for a country and individuals.

To conclude

, as a whole

society

changes

Add a missing verb

has changes

show examples

, every family has been nuclearized and every member of

this

group tries to be engaged with both household chores and one's own career development.

This

situation is positive enough to make a happier

society

since people can decide what they want.

Submitted by rlacofla99 on Tue Jan 31 2023

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Family structure
Modern family
Extended family
Nuclear family
Same-sex parent families
Breadwinner
Caregiving responsibilities
Family dynamics
Globalization
Economic shifts
Migration
Child-free lifestyles
Cohabitation
Traditional marriage
Perceptions
Homemaker
Communication
Shared activities

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