IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing travels between countries enables people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries?

#countries #people #cultures #tension
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There are controversial notions heating up over the consequences of ever-increasing global
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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.
While
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 some hold a strong view that
upsurge
Correct article usage
an upsurge
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 in new arrivals will prompt local hostility against
visitors
Use synonyms
, the opposite makes a statement that
this
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 phenomenon facilitates inhabitants to digest various cultural insights.
While
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 the former is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of the latter.
To begin
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 with, without a shadow of a doubt,
visitors
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 are sometimes conflicting, opposing
to
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apply
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the lifestyle perspective of the nation they visit.
In other words
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,
due to
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 the cultural diversity and the different social
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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, foreigners and local dwellers feel unsuitable, or even culture shock.
For instance
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,
while
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 visiting Vietnam, since disobeying rulers and cultures of the local community, some foreigners from other eastern countries litter indiscriminately causing environmental pollution, which poses a serious threat to
local
Add an article
the local
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resident
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residents
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 living.
Hence
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international
travel
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 development has a great contribution to some demerits to people between countries.
On the other hand
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,
while
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 the drawback of
this
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 movement is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if its counterpart is ignored. The reason why multinational
travel
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 would not bring conflict is rooted in the demand
of
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for
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 the newly-various cultural knowledge for both locals and
visitors
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. To be specific, it is obvious that
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 can easily have cultural exposure to
enrich
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enriching
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 their own. The locals, in turn, by getting in touch with considerable global
visitors
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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also
Linking Words
 can dive into other cultures.
For example
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, Vietnam, a tourism appealing country in Asia, often organizes some associated festivals for both locals and foreigners to have
cultural
Add an article
a cultural
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 exchange.
Thus
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, dramatic growth in
travel
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 between countries can bring about tremendous benefits. Aforementioned,
while
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 increasing global
travel
Use synonyms
 may include some downsides
such
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 as argumentation among residents from different nations, from my viewpoint, their counterparts like
culture
Replace the word
cultural
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 exchange outweigh.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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