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Band 4.5

Because of the pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to natural world

#pace #life #children #time #indoors #exposure #world
Our childhood was an amazing experience we uses to go out and play in the park , and go boating. No matter what
time
 it is or how harsh is sun or weather still we go out and play because that was the only
time
 we explore new things. Now in
this
 modern ,world everything can be accessed with one finger touch. The person has not
have
Change the verb form
had
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 to leave their house to get anything, at one touch they can order anything at their doorstep.
While
 the world is growing for adults it is affecting the childhood of their
baby
Fix the agreement mistake
babies
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 too. Blaming parents won’t be sufficient for
this
. offspring of
this
 modern age have more interest to know what is new going on in the digital world, sitting in one place they can learn whatever they want to from different languages to cultures and many more.
This
 what
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 today’s scion spend more
time
 in front of the computer. Recently at my ,
friends
Add a comma
,friends
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 I saw
his
Correct pronoun usage
my
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 scion glued to the screen of a computer playing games and when my friend asked
to
Correct pronoun usage
him to
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 stop, they were so furious and started yelling.
This
 experience made me though of their development and health. The lack of experience and not going out in nature has made
heir
Correct your spelling
her
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 angry and irritated.
This
 might make a large impact on their psychological development too. In the ,ends
this
 modern is ruining a life stage of humans which is childhood. It is the most vital part for development and understanding of themselves, as solution offspring should have limited access to gadgets and the internet. If they are there should be a parental lock as now parents even don’t have
time
 to look after their offspring .
Submitted by jsrivastavav0027 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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