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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, secondary school aims to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is better?

#countries #school #education #range #subjects #children #focus #career
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In different countries, secondary schools provide different
subjects
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 for their
students
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. I think that secondary school provides a general education across a range of
subjects
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 is better. If a student studies a range of
subjects
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 at secondary schools, they could find their own direction in which they are really interested. It can achieve their potential, the
students
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 can spend more time in areas of interest. The more time they spend, the more likely they are to become experts. Meanwhile, studying
courses
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 in different directions can help
students
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 acquire different
skills
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,
such
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 as for computer-related
courses
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, the
students
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 can get computer
skills
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, and for English-related
courses
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, the
students
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 can obtain foreign language
skills
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 and communication
skills
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. The different
skills
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 will help them when they graduate from society.
On the other hand
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, it has some advantages if the
students
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 only focus on some particular career.
First,
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when they graduate from school, they may have more job opportunities. Because they are more proficient in a certain area, and current employers like recruiting people related to the field.
Therefore
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, they can have a competitive edge in the job market.
Second,
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it could make
students
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 feel relaxed and happy in the learning process. The student only needs to study some special
courses
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 and do related homework to increase the memory of knowledge points. The
students
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 feel more relaxed and happy with less homework and they can have time to play computer games or do other entertainments to relax. In my view,
although
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 studying a range of
subjects
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 could encourage
students
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’ imagination and creativity, learning about some particular career can
also
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 increase the rate of employment and job opportunities.
Submitted by dh97 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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