Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Music

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has various meanings and benefits for most

people

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, including tightening

people

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's bonds with different backgrounds,

while

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others may disagree with that statement for some reasons.

Therefore

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, I tend to side with the objectives of

music

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to increase

people

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's bonds because it could have particular messages that

people

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are fond of and could be enjoyed universally regardless of the differences.

Music

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can deliver valuable messages to listeners, it could bring an experience when

people

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can feel numerous emotions and feelings by perceiving the meaning of it or just feel carried away by the rhythm.

For example

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, pop songs that are mainly about romantic life or energetic vibes will assemble

people

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who are enthusiastic about those songs together where they can share their stories with each other and diminish the cultural differences.

Hence

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, they will put down all the sensitive differences by connecting their emotions through

music

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Furthermore

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music

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also

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can attract

people

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of all ages from young children to the elderly because all ages can enjoy it delightfully and it does not have any limitations to be enjoyed. To exemplify, orchestra

music

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can bring joy and peacefulness to both children and older

people

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, which will be pleasantly entertaining to listen to.

Thus

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, older

people

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might enjoy it seeking calmness,

while

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children want to look for fun and new experiences. To summarize, I believe

music

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is definitely a great thing that could bring

people

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together creating a strong relationship by having similar emotions and exact ways to enjoy it, which does not hinder

people

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with different cultures and ages to befriend.

hanalyaa29Wed Nov 20 2024

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task achievement

Expand on your examples with more detail to strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding.

coherence cohesion

Consider adding a sentence in the introduction to outline the structure of the essay, which will improve the overall cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion clearly present your opinion and summarize the main points effectively.

task achievement

The essay successfully covers the main points related to the topic and responds directly to the question.

task achievement

Demonstrates a good understanding of how music can bring people together despite cultural and age differences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, a lot of children have health issues and are becoming overweight. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that doing multiple tasks at the same time can be beneficial. However, others are against this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has become easier and more affortable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.