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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Music
 has various meanings and benefits for most
people
, including tightening
people
's bonds with different backgrounds,
while
 others may disagree with that statement for some reasons.
Therefore
, I tend to side with the objectives of
music
 to increase
people
's bonds because it could have particular messages that
people
 are fond of and could be enjoyed universally regardless of the differences.
Music
 can deliver valuable messages to listeners, it could bring an experience when
people
 can feel numerous emotions and feelings by perceiving the meaning of it or just feel carried away by the rhythm.
For example
, pop songs that are mainly about romantic life or energetic vibes will assemble
people
 who are enthusiastic about those songs together where they can share their stories with each other and diminish the cultural differences.
Hence
, they will put down all the sensitive differences by connecting their emotions through
music
.
Furthermore
,
music
also
 can attract
people
 of all ages from young children to the elderly because all ages can enjoy it delightfully and it does not have any limitations to be enjoyed. To exemplify, orchestra
music
 can bring joy and peacefulness to both children and older
people
, which will be pleasantly entertaining to listen to.
Thus
, older
people
 might enjoy it seeking calmness,
while
 children want to look for fun and new experiences. To summarize, I believe
music
 is definitely a great thing that could bring
people
 together creating a strong relationship by having similar emotions and exact ways to enjoy it, which does not hinder
people
 with different cultures and ages to befriend.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

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task achievement
Expand on your examples with more detail to strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a sentence in the introduction to outline the structure of the essay, which will improve the overall cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly present your opinion and summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay successfully covers the main points related to the topic and responds directly to the question.
task achievement
Demonstrates a good understanding of how music can bring people together despite cultural and age differences.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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