As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some Governments are encouraging businesses to move the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh to disadvantages?

#transport #accommodation #cities #governments #businesses #move #area

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Owing to the paucity of shelter and traffic congestion, businesses

centered

Change the spelling

centred

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in cities are advised to relocate to the countryside by the government. The merits of

this

Linking Words

recommendation are more for city-dwellers and a

company

Use synonyms

as compared to demerits. To put forward the positives for people, if the industries shift to rural areas, denizens will get rid of noise pollution to a great extent.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the quality of life would become enriched.

For instance

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, Surat City is known for its serenity and good air quality provided the industrial area is nearly 30km away from residences.

Not to mention

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that the more vacant space, the less the

price

Use synonyms

land

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, the shifting of business to rural regions

also

Linking Words

dampens the

price

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of houses for needy people. Concerning the benefits for the businesses, since the rural area is undeveloped, they may get an opportunity to acquire more

land

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to expand their business.

Coupled with

Linking Words

that the

land

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price

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also

Linking Words

much less than cities.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a great reduction in capital cost is witnessed by the

company

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. Not only the remuneration for the

laborer

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labourer

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is lower than in urban areas, but

also

Linking Words

the water supply and electricity charges can be significantly less. Ergo, it is an ideal, choice for them to move to a rural area. A few drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

, as the distance between the production unit and the end-user increases the

overall

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transport and packaging cost skyrocket.

As a result

Linking Words

, the sale of a

company

Use synonyms

undoubtedly gets compromised. Another demerit worth considering is the loss of fertile

land

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. When a firm moves to villages, deforestation takes place, and that

further

Linking Words

hikes

land

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pollution.

To conclude

Linking Words

, moving the industries out of the urban

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

can be a much better solution for most people as it enhances the living standard.

Although

Linking Words

the selling

price

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gets a bit higher,

overall

Linking Words

expansion is a great benefit for a

company

Use synonyms

Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on Sat Aug 10 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence, use more varied linkers and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. Currently, some transitions are a bit abrupt.

Task Achievement

Make sure to address any potential counterarguments to strengthen your task response. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

While your ideas are clear, ensure each paragraph develops just one main idea to improve clarity and depth. At times, multiple ideas are introduced too quickly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively encapsulate your main points.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant and specific examples that support your arguments, which strengthens your overall essay.

Task Achievement

Your main points are well-supported and clearly presented, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

315 words

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As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some Governments are encouraging businesses to move the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh to disadvantages?

Your opinion

The most important aim of science should be to improve the people's lives . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?