IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Competitiveness is considered a good quality in most societies nowadays. How does it affect individuals? Do you think this is positive or negative?

These days, it is believed in many nations that competitiveness is beneficial.
This
Linking Words
 mainly results in
individuals
Use synonyms
 who are ready to face the hardships of life, and I personally believe that
such
Linking Words
 a trait impacts positively
upon
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the financial status of
individuals
Use synonyms
 and countries. Chief among the influences of promoting competitiveness relates to building a solid personality which is equipped with all the characteristics required for successful future
individuals
Use synonyms
. Being adaptable to competitive environments, especially during childhood, improves one's various skills
such
Linking Words
 as the ability of critical thinking, innovation and problem-solving skills by engaging in diversified competitions during school days. In Egyptian international schools,
for example
Linking Words
, the number of racing, dancing and art competitions have been increased
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that schools' managements have realized the significance of competing for schoolchildren development. I firmly believe that promoting
this
Linking Words
 quality would definitely boost the financial position of
individuals
Use synonyms
. When working in competitive working conditions, just as
Apple
Change preposition
in Apple
show examples
 company, multinational firms and high-technology corporations, employees endeavour to devote much time and effort to their work.
Hence
Linking Words
, remarkably would they gain lucrative payment and generate more revenues, and they would be able to support their families and reach a better living standard.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not only would the ubiquity of competitiveness in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 benefit
individuals
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 it would lead to a thriving economy owing to the upsurge in productivity rates in countries' public and private factories and the industrial sector as a whole. In conclusion, the predomination of competitive atmospheres at schools plays a
quitessential
Correct your spelling
quintessential
 role in preparing a well-equipped generation who is ready to encounter life
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
.
Thus
Linking Words
, I am convinced that without enforcing
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
, nations' economies would not be able to thrive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: