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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to help underachieving pupils is to have compulsory after school activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in schools and their grades will improve

#pupils #school #activities #schools #grades
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One
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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good
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 to help underachieving students is to have compulsory courses after school
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 fall behind with their tasks.
This
 method can help to broaden their mind. I completely agree with
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 part in various activities. On the
one
 hand, there are so many benefits
from
Change preposition
to
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 learning
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
 of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 system. First of all,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a chance to know the subject inside and out.
This
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
because their tutor maybe has enough time to pay attention to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
each
one
 of the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. And it is
golden
Add an article
a golden
show examples
 opportunity for them to learn it by heart.
However
, in schools teachers do not have time to spend on children and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 they cannot draw attention to everyone. Second of all, studying
Add an article
a subject
the subject
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 that
belong
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belongs
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 to their profession
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their course is beneficial for them.
Therefore
, tutors usually revise something by using past
pepers
Correct your spelling
papers
peppers
. If they do not know any information about that subject. They have to cram for it.
For example
, they might do some revision. Maybe it could be helpful for them.
In addition
, there is another reason why
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should take part
activities
Change preposition
in activities
show examples
.
This
 is because nowadays most
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
 are easily distracted.
This
 is the main cause
that
Correct word choice
why
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 they should have extra activities. On
teh
Correct your spelling
the
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 have their own interests or passion to learn something new that
arouse
Correct subject-verb agreement
arouses
show examples
 their interest.
Therefore
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 or even
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 do not have to make pupils
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
study all of the subjects. And
Add an article
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 should be educated
subjects
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on subjects
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 of
one
's
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
. Taking everything into account, having compulsory classes
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 useful for
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who educated by well-qualified teachers
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • under-achieving
  • compulsory
  • after-school activities
  • grades
  • improve
  • support
  • resources
  • motivation
  • engagement
  • behavior
  • discipline
  • life skills
  • teamwork
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • sense of community
  • belonging
  • drawbacks
  • limited freedom
  • pressure
  • flexible
  • study support programs
  • individualized tutoring
  • address
  • needs
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