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Band 5.5

Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #peers #peer #pressure
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These days, there's a general debate over the issue of young adolescents being influenced by
peer
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 groups. Some people believe that
peer
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pressure
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 has more strength than drawbacks,
while
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 others say that it has more demerits than merits. Both sides have reasonable points but in my opinion,
this
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 say will agree with the formal statement. On the one hand, one of the reasons why
peer
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pressure
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 among youth is bad is because of the bad influence
among
Change preposition
on
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 themselves
especially
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,especially
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 at school.
That is
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 to say, if students
at
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on
show examples
 campus join a group of smokers in the name of having fun,
this
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 not only
mislead
Correct subject-verb agreement
misleads
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 them
of
Change preposition
from
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 doing their responsibilities but
also
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 wastes their time.
For example
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,
according
Add the preposition
toaccording
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toresearch
Correct your spelling
research
 conducted by
Mr.
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Mr
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 William at Bugema University showed that 40% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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learner who
have
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has
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 peers tend to fail exams because of bad influence and
pressure
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 from their
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peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
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hence
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 lacking time to read.
On the other hand
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, despite the above points, there are many advantages that outweigh the negatives of
peer
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pressure
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such
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 as adolescents having fun with their age mates.
In other words
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, when age mates meet during their free time, they are able to enjoy themselves
such
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 as partying or watching a movie together which helps them not to be bored alone.
For instance
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of the young people at school always find a team where they can fit
during
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in during
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 school period.
In addition
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, the tension in the team they choose helps them to perform better during academic studies. Children normally have
competition
Add an article
a competition
the competition
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of
Change preposition
in
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 reading to see which team wins in performance and sometimes they are given rewards by their head teachers which always motivate them to work harder. To illustrate more, Most of the schools in Uganda use group competition in order to help learners achieve high. In conclusion,
therefore
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 l agree that the benefits of
peer
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 force overshadow the drawbacks because of better performance of students and enjoyment. So l hope in future, teenagers will be allowed to join more groups.
Submitted by jmeeme5 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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