IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You want to organise a party in your office to celebrate something. Write a letter to your manager about the party at the office. In your letter, •say what the party is about •mention why it is necessary •explain what you expect from him/her to do Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I trust you are doing well. The purpose of
this
Linking Words
 letter is to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
permission for an office party. First and foremost,
this
Linking Words
 celebration will be regarding our success
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 launching three different Robots within less than six months, which is unprecedented.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the sales of these products are
also
Linking Words
 skyrocketing
due to
Linking Words
 innovative technology that they offer at affordable prices.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think that now it’s our turn to appreciate everyone’s efforts by organizing a lunch
along with
Linking Words
 some
interative
Correct your spelling
interactive
 fun games. So that they can get motivated to even push more boundaries of innovation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would require your permission to allow our team members to come and celebrate the party during working hours.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, keep
this
Linking Words
 confidential as I would like to surprise everyone with
this
Linking Words
 party. I hope to hear a positive response from you. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely, Ruchin Patel

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider making the opening sentence more direct regarding the purpose of the letter to increase clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next to enhance overall coherence.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify the request more explicitly in the closing sentences.
task achievement
The letter has a clear purpose and addresses the significance of the celebration well, which is important for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is logical with distinct paragraphs focusing on different aspects of the message.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: