the chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US
The bar diagram demonstrates the rate of cardiac attracts among
man
and Fix the agreement mistake
men
women
in United
States each year. In an overview, the Correct article usage
the United
number
of attracts among male citizens is higher than the number
of attracts among females. Although
, the discrepancy of
ratio decreases with the Change preposition
in
age
.
To start with, Heart Attack
among aged Fix the agreement mistake
Attacks
people
in USA
is significantly high Correct article usage
the USA
comparing
to the Change the form of the verb
compared
youngstars
and adults. Correct your spelling
youngsters
young stars
Whereas
,
1.2 Remove the comma
apply
millions
Change to singular
million
people
who are unfer
45 years are going through the problem every year, the figure increases approximately four times high among Correct your spelling
under
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
of 45 to 64 years. And 4.40 millions
Correct your spelling
million
people
of
65 years are at higher risk.
Change preposition
apply
In contrast
, the graph has a positive result in the number
of women
who are generally less affected than the man. But,ike
the other half of the population, the rate increases in terms of Correct your spelling
like
the
Correct article usage
apply
age
. Though only 3 thousand young women
are subjected by
the health issue, 1.3 Change preposition
to
millions
and 3.74 Change to singular
million
millions
are affected at the Change to singular
million
age
of 45 to 64 and after 64 respectively.
To conclude
, it is ovserved
in the state that males are at higher risk of heart attract in all Correct your spelling
observed
age
than Fix the agreement mistake
ages
the
Correct article usage
apply
women
. But, the number
increases dramatically among women
when they reach at
the Change preposition
apply
age
of 65.Submitted by rishi.seehra on
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, number, age, people, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
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