the chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US

the chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US
The chart shows the
number
of people between the ages of twenty-nine and more than sixty-five in the United States of America who have a
heart
attack every year. The
number
of individuals is divided into three groups for each sex, they are 29 to 44 years old, 45 to 64 years old and more than 65 years old, respectively.
Overall
, women and young adults are less likely to develop a
heart
condition
such
as a
heart
attack. On one hand, the fluctuation in the
number
of
heart
attacks in the female group is significant, having an increase of 373.000 from the first cluster to the third.
Additionally
, in
this
sex ,batch a surge can be observed from the first to the second group whilst from the second to the third array has a gradual rise.
On the other hand
, the male bar remained almost steady between the middle age and the eldest group. Notwithstanding, both sexes reported their lowest
number
in the younger individuals and highest in their oldest.
To sum up
, men have a higher chance of developing a
heart
problem.
Submitted by heyohbruv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, heart with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: