the chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US

the chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US
The chart shows the
number
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of people between the ages of twenty-nine and more than sixty-five in the United States of America who have a
heart
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attack every year. The
number
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of individuals is divided into three groups for each sex, they are 29 to 44 years old, 45 to 64 years old and more than 65 years old, respectively.
Overall
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, women and young adults are less likely to develop a
heart
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condition
such
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as a
heart
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attack. On one hand, the fluctuation in the
number
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of
heart
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attacks in the female group is significant, having an increase of 373.000 from the first cluster to the third.
Additionally
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, in
this
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sex ,batch a surge can be observed from the first to the second group whilst from the second to the third array has a gradual rise.
On the other hand
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, the male bar remained almost steady between the middle age and the eldest group. Notwithstanding, both sexes reported their lowest
number
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in the younger individuals and highest in their oldest.
To sum up
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, men have a higher chance of developing a
heart
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problem.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, heart with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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