Write about the following topic: "In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their 14-15 year-old children?" Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #countries #people #privileges #responsibilities #age #sixteen #parents #responsibility #care #children #approach #milestone #lives

In many countries, young people are granted responsibility and certain privileges at the age of sixteen. The age can be called still young or already adult

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they have parts of adults and parts of

children

. It shows us they need to be educated and responsible by their

parents

. To prevent

children

from making mistakes,

clearly

Add a comma

,clearly

show examples

their

parents

show their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

with responsibility and privileges.

This

is because

children

grow up seeing how their

parents

behave.

Therefore

, they need to check and behave correctly as one of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

civilians.

However

, when

children

grow up and turn

Change preposition

apply

show examples

fourteen or fifteen, they need to be able to think for themselves so that they can act correctly as responsible adults in any situation. So their

parents

must leave their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

and make the opportunity to think for themselves. In the opposite way,

parents

can intervene in their

children

’s lives and try to control them until they become completely responsible adults. I think it is not wrong, because everyone matures physically and mentality differences and all

children

cannot do the same thing at the age of sixteen. If the

child

is already independent, the

parents

don’t need to intervene.

However

, if the

child

is not independent, the

parents

must prevent them. In summary, I think that we cannot say how

child

education must be.

This

is why all

children

are not the same and their

parents

need to consider what kind of education is appropriate for their

children

and how

intervention

Add an article

the intervention

an intervention

show examples

is appropriate.

Submitted by z.pfister on Wed Feb 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Some individuals assume that moving huge companies and industries from residential areas to suburbs would be effective. While this trend might have some drawbacks, I personally suppose its benefits will be more.
5.5
band
Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?
In today’s rapidly evolving world, the debate over whether older or younger individuals make better leaders in organizations is ongoing. While some argue that experience and wisdom often come with age, others contend that younger leaders bring fresh perspectives and innovative thinking to the table. In my opinion, both age groups possess unique strengths, but a blend of youthful vigor and seasoned expertise can get the most effective leadership outcomes.
4
band
In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In some states, there is an increasing trend within the young generation that prefers to attend vocational training rather than entering university. I think this trends' advantages are more outweigh than disadvantages because this kind of trainings cost-effective than universities, and it saves time.
5.5
band
nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?
In recent years, although computers bring about various benefits, it has emerged as one of the vital threats to children lifestyle. This essay will exert detrimental ramifications of playing computer games and propose strategies to alleviate these adverse effects.
5
band
In many countries,there is a growing gap between the technical skills of younger people and those over the age of fifty. What problems does this cause, and what solutions could minimise the problems?
Evidence suggests that all over the world, the wast majority of elderlies are not able to work with new technological progresses as much as younger generation. Although there are specific root causes behind this phenomenon, effective solutions can be adopted to remedy this situation.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

In many countries,there is a growing gap between the technical skills of younger people and those over the age of fifty. What problems does this cause, and what solutions could minimise the problems?