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Band 6.5

New Technologies change the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages of these changes outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #change #children #time #changes
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It cannot be refuted that new
technologies
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 provide a convenient way to learn new knowledge about the world for most
children
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 when they are free ,and
this
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 reason makes some suggestible people form the view that the development of technology can benefit
children
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 in their
leisure
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time
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,
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 state suffers from some misconceptions and should be checked out precisely.As far as physical
health
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, mental
health
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, and self-development are concerned,I firmly believe that the disadvantages of the change overweight the advantages.
Firstly
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, Using new
technologies
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 in
leisure
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time
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 could affect
children
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's physical
health
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. To be more specific,if adults don't allow their
children
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 to use new
technologies
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,
children
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 always like to do some outdoor exercises when they are free, the fresh air and beautiful landscape would benefit
children
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's physical
health
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.
However
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, if parents allow
children
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 to use new
technologies
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 in their
leisure
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time
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,
children
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 would stay at their home and play electronic games or watch videos,which is harmful to
children
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's eyes, bones, lungs and so on.
Additionally
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,Using new
technologies
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,
such
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 as mobile phones, in their
leisure
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time
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 would be harmful to
children
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's mental
health
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.
For example
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, there are a large number of rubbish information on the internet, and some of them even encourage
children
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 to take part in criminal
activities
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.
However
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,
children
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 always don't have enough experience and knowledge to judge and select information.
Furthermore
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, It's really easy for them to trust strangers online neglecting the behind mystery.
this
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 potential danger would influence
children
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's mental
health
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.
However
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, a voice arises that new
technologies
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 provide
children
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 with an easy way to understand the world and broaden their horizons so that they could have better development. Ironically, using new
technologies
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 in their
leisure
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time
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 could occupy the
time
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 when they could take part in real social
activities
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 and make real friends.During these real social
activities
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,
children
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 could develop their ability to communicate and deal with people, these good qualities would benefit them when they go to society and the workplace in the future and couldn't get by using new
technologies
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.
Also
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, taking part in real
activities
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 and travelling are more efficient ways of helping
children
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 to know about the world. In conclusion,I still firmly hold that the disadvantages of the change overweight the advantages.
Submitted by lindyz0624 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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