Young people who commit crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recently the issue has been brought into focus is young people should be treated the same punishments as
adults
by the
government
. Personally, I would argue that the authorities do not have to treat teenagers like
adults
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
why the
government
should not do that. One thing
is
Unnecessary verb
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of great significance is that
children
are immature and they just mimic what people do. Because they may not have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
education from their parents and others.
As a result
, they can not control their behaviour and misuse of drugs and alcohol. The most familiar example of
this
is in the US, teenagers who are
in
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apply
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the age of 18,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will have an inclination to live alone, so they could learn bad habits from their friends
such
as pulling an
all nighter
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all-nighter
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to play games and they
also
could face some financial challenges. Probably, there is some truth in the idea that
children
could be suffered from some mistakes because of the lack of education. Another special consideration in
this
case is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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negative influence of
adults
. In fact,
children
develop their soft skills and social skills by observing
old generation
Add a hyphen
old-generation
show examples
actions.
Therefore
, the states should not treat them by the same
legislations
Fix the agreement mistake
legislation
show examples
as
adults
. They could tackle
this
matter by setting a good example, encouraging responsible behaviour and reinstating firm discipline. It seems quite clear that it is necessary for the
government
cooperate
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to cooperate
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with
adults
to give them good
example
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examples
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of behaviour
instead
of imposing strict laws. From what we have discussed above, we may draw
to
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apply
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the conclusion that
children
should not be treated like
adults
. I strongly believe that the
government
may solve
this
problem by using
suggested
Correct article usage
the suggested
show examples
measures above.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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