IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #ages #responsibilities #home #work #school #lives
The majority of
people
 tend to believe that differently aged children should have to do some activities which are out of their responsibility,
while
 the other half think that the only thing they should care about is studying.
This
 essay will discuss both of these points of view and give a conclusion
at the end
 of the essay. On
one
 hand, there are several reasons why the vast majority of
people
 have an opinion on the benefits of having extra responsibilities.
One
 of them is being able to provide a higher quality of life in future by doing some basic things
such
 as cleaning or cooking, generally named housekeeping on your own.
In addition
, learning these things help a person to be more disciplined,
therefore
 they can achieve the best marks at school or build a successful career
due to
 gained skill. A good example of
this
 can be an experiment by a group of researchers from Oxford University in 1987, where they observe the actions of two same-aged adults during an urgent period.
One
 of them spent all his time ,not at school, but doing another extra job to find ways to solve the appeared problems,
while
 the second person that devoted his time to studying and having fun failed
this
 test.
On the other hand
, another brunch of
people
, mostly parents have no doubt that children should focus on their exams and should experience all merits of living.
One
 of the cogent reasons for
this
 is that during the teenage ,years adolescents have to explore the world, communicate with their mates, be more social and just enjoy these full of emotions and feelings years. An opportunity given by parents to do all of it
also
 opens the door to an entertaining, enjoyable life.
For instance
, the personal story of many  successful
people
 in business, like Mendel Howard proves that being able to do anything can motivate you to grow
further
. Starting from his childhood he was allowed to do things that he find interesting. So, they can learn to be independent and more responsible for their own life.
To conclude
, in my point of view, the pros of feeling free to do something that a person wants definitely outweigh the pros of having additional work.
Submitted by abay.serikov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
What to do next:
Look at other essays: