IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, but others think that people should have the freedom to choose sports activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #ban #sports #freedom #activities
It is argued that some extreme
sports
 can cause several injured and fetal consequences,
therefore
, some
people
 assert that those
sports
 should be banned.
However
, I support the view that
people
 ought to choose the sport they enjoy freely. Some think that high-risk
sports
 should not be allowed by the authorities since some accidents can happen. They argue that many young
people
 doing extreme recreation like skydiving just want to show off or it is driven by the adrenaline rush.
That is
 to say, a lifelong injury is too high a price to pay for an impulse.
In addition
, they claim that the true meaning of sport is supposed to be helping
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 to gain health but not risk one's life.
Nevertheless
, I believe that individuals should have the liberty to choose. Some
sports
,
such
 as scuba diving ,are potentially dangerous when without proper training.
On the other hand
, if
people
 are fully aware of the possible danger and equipped with sufficient know-how to handle it, they can attain special experiences that other
sports
 cannot provide.
Furthermore
,
instead
 of forbidding
people
 to do some
sports
, the government can impose stricter rules to reduce the risk of injury.
For instance
, every event should have a certain ratio of coaches around and first aid stations should be present. In conclusion,
while
 it can be argued that prohibiting the community from dangerous
sports
 somehow may help them stay out of danger, I state that
people
 should be able to choose the sport of enjoyment with enough knowledge.
Submitted by ying91823 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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