IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount of people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #country #government #control #salaries #limit #amount
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There are two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 of views about a
labor
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labour
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 worker that
earn
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earns
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 extremely high in some countries. The first view
think
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thinks
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 that the phenomenon
is bring
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is brought
is bringing
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 positive effect
for
Change preposition
on
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 the nation.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the second view
believe
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believes
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 that it should be regulated and limited for certain
people
Use synonyms
. There are actual high-earning workers that
impacts
Change the verb form
impact
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 their country positively.
For example
Linking Words
, in Scandinavian countries, the high
salary
Use synonyms
 increases the
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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 of their lives. It is because the law there
also
Linking Words
 arranges
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high taxes to develop
such
Linking Words
 great basic services,
such
Linking Words
 as schools and hospitals.
In
Change the preposition
On
show examples
 the contrary, there are
also
Linking Words
 some
people
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 that think the government should
controls
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control
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 how much the
salary
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 range and limits the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 can earn.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Indonesia
Add a comma
,Indonesia
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 there is a system called UMR or regional’s minimum
salary
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 to regulate
about
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apply
show examples
the minimum
amount
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 of
salary
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 can get in
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Indonesian’s
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Indonesian
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 taxes are not very high compared to Scandinavian countries.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the basic services in Indonesia still need some serious improvement in some areas. Personally, I think the best approach
of
Change preposition
to
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 how
salary
Use synonyms
 should be regulated is to combine both views. The control of salaries
amount
Use synonyms
 is good to make sure that every worker
have
Change the verb form
has
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 their rights and
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 being enslaved by their employer.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, it is
also
Linking Words
 important to make sure every worker
being
Wrong verb form
is
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 appreciated and
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
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 a good quality of life that
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 supported by
high
Add an article
the high
a high
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amount
Use synonyms
 of
salary
Use synonyms
 if they have already fulfilled their obligation.
Submitted by berna061194 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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