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Band 4.5

Does renting a house have more advantanes or disadvantage?

#house #advantanes
The phenomenon of people tending to rent a place temporarily for the purpose of occupancy has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as people's views on
this
 issue in question may be, I personally believe that its benefits can outweigh the drawbacks. Regarding the disadvantages of renting a house, the most significant one is that it is less freedom. To illustrate, you might not change the decoration of the house by
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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 own decision since you are not the true owner of the apartment.
Moreover
, you have a responsibility to maintain
a
Correct article usage
the
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 great condition of the
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
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as
Change preposition
at
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 original status.
Hence
, tenants must spend a lot of strain to retain their form.
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
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 you may cost extra money to compensate
the
Change preposition
for the
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 loss of the owner. Despite the aforementioned disadvantage, I still believe that the
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 of renting
a
Change the article
an
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 apartment would bring us more advantages, and probably the most noticeable one is that it is more
flexable
Correct your spelling
flexible
.
For instance
, there are many reasons to
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
 you want to a new
evnironment
Correct your spelling
environment
 to live
such
Change preposition
in such
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 as new jobs, better transportation and more diversity of restaurants.
As
Change preposition
With
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 the development of the community by
government
Correct article usage
the government
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,
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
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 may want to catch up
the
Change preposition
with the
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 pace
for
Change preposition
of
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 it.
Therefore
, if you already brought a house, your life
basically
Add a missing verb
is basically
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 fixed with that location. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 only
Correct article usage
a less
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less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 people would afford the extremely high cost of
an
Remove the article
apply
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another apartment. Under
this
 line of thinking, it seems to me that it is essential to make your life on the same page with the modern world for your future and family.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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