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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

#people #children #work
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In some households,
children
 get paid for
work
,
while
 others do not.
This
 essay will evaluate the benefits and drawbacks of
children
 getting compensated for doing chores. One of the main
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 of doing paid
work
 is learning about the concept of
money
. Most often,
this
 lesson is not taught at school. When
children
 received
money
 from
work
, they could learn the lesson of saving and spending. They might be more aware of the value of
money
 and understand the idea that
money
 does not come easily. Another benefit of working is for
children
 to learn skills that they would not be exposed to
otherwise
.
For instance
,
children
 could learn social skills by working in a shop and interacting with customers. There is a lot to be learnt outside of classroom settings. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, there are disadvantages to paid
work
. One drawback is removing precious time from
play
Add an article
the play
a play
show examples
 of the
children
. At a young age, some parents think that it is imperative for
children
 to explore and play in an unstructured and free environment.
Work
 can be saved for later on in their lives.
Moreover
, some parents believe that
children
 should not be incentivised to
work
 for
money
. They want to teach their
children
 to
work
 for a cause, for
self improvement
Add a hyphen
self-improvement
show examples
,
instead
 of for
money
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
. Through being paid at
work
,
children
 understand the relationship
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and compensation, even though the time could be spent on other areas. In my opinion, as long as the
work
 is balanced with school
work
 and free play, there is a lot to be learnt from working at a young age.
Submitted by cathrnwu on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
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