IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe technology has made our live too complex and the solution is to lead a smipler life without technology . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Varied opinions have been put on the table when it comes to
technology
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
 , some say that
technology
Use synonyms
 leads us to more complex lives and the better solution is to spend a simple life without it. In
this
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 essay , I will discuss
this
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 more in detail in paragraphs to come and explain whether I agree with the notion or disagree with it . The first and perhaps the most important reason behind the disagreement side seems to be automation gives many chances to
people
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 to live a comfortable life . By ,
this
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 I mean that many countries have the best transportation facilities which help the masses to go anywhere within a short
time
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 .
Furthermore
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 ,
people
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 have mobile phones which can be helpful for buying anything online and
do
Verb problem
making
show examples
 payments, these can save a huge amount of
time
Use synonyms
as well as
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 money because of
this
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people
Use synonyms
 do not have to travel long distances.The second reason appears to be students have the facility to learn through online classes
due to
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 the advancement of
technology
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.
For example
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 , during covid 19 , all students did their studies online and
gave
Verb problem
took
show examples
 exams on computers and laptops .
On the other hand
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 ,
people
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 use mainly mobile phones for doing everything
such
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 as shopping and payments .
As a result
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 , the
time
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 of walking to the shopping centre
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
 and going to places
for paying
Change preposition
to pay
show examples
 bills has reduced .
This
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 can lead the masses to health problems and
also
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 reduce the
time
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 of socializing with others .
Moreover
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,
people
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 do not have enough
time
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 to relax their minds because if machinery increases day by day
then
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 employees have to work more . In conclusion , I do not agree with the notion because
technology
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 provides many opportunities to
people
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 and it depends on
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
how to
use
Correct pronoun usage
use it
show examples
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical sequence of ideas. Use transition words to connect ideas throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument in a balanced way, provide specific examples to support your points, and present a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Integration
  • Adaptation
  • Minimalistic approach
  • Digital literacy
  • Over-reliance
  • Digital overload
  • Privacy concerns
  • Conveniences
  • Healthcare advancements
  • Groundbreaking treatments
  • Access to information
  • Intentional use
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