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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about internet users in three countries between 1999 and 2009

The graph below gives information about internet users in three countries between 1999 and 2009
#information #internet #users #three #countries
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The graph shows a comparison of
internet
 user
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Canada
, and Mexico over a decade period. As shown in the chart, it can be concluded that
across
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1999 to 2009 there was an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
internet
users
 in the aforementioned countries.
Also
, the graphs provide
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 that when compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two countries, Cana had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive
internet
 user growth. Looking back
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1999,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
marked
Add a missing verb
was marked
show examples
 as the country with the highest
number
 of
internet
users
 in comparison to
Canada
 and Mexico. As time goes by, even though the country recorded a persistent increase,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
starting from 2007
Canada
 succeeded overlap the
USA
 in terms of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
internet
users
. In 2007, there was a sharp increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
internet
subscriber
Fix the agreement mistake
subscribers
show examples
 in
Canada
.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 to
USA
 and
Canada
, Mexico was the country which had the slowest growth of
internet
users
. Even
the
Correct word choice
though the
show examples
number
 of
users
 was gradually gone up
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the rate was not significant when compared to other countries.
Submitted by wawildan5 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, usa, canada, number, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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