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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about internet users in three countries between 1999 and 2009

The graph below gives information about internet users in three countries between 1999 and 2009
#information #internet #users #three #countries
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The graph shows a comparison of
internet
Use synonyms
 user
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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 in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Canada
Use synonyms
, and Mexico over a decade period. As shown in the chart, it can be concluded that
across
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1999 to 2009 there was an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 in the aforementioned countries.
Also
Linking Words
, the graphs provide
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
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 that when compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 two countries, Cana had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive
internet
Use synonyms
 user growth. Looking back
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1999,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
marked
Add a missing verb
was marked
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 as the country with the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 in comparison to
Canada
Use synonyms
 and Mexico. As time goes by, even though the country recorded a persistent increase,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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starting from 2007
Canada
Use synonyms
 succeeded overlap the
USA
Use synonyms
 in terms of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
. In 2007, there was a sharp increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
subscriber
Fix the agreement mistake
subscribers
show examples
 in
Canada
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.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
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 to
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Canada
Use synonyms
, Mexico was the country which had the slowest growth of
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
. Even
the
Correct word choice
though the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
users
Use synonyms
 was gradually gone up
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the rate was not significant when compared to other countries.
Submitted by wawildan5 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, usa, canada, number, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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