Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

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According to

Linking Words

many

Use synonyms

folk

Change to a plural noun

folks

show examples

, prosperity is the single key to

enjoy

Wrong verb form

enjoying

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life,

while

Linking Words

, others suggest that prosperity has no connection with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

joy and I agree with the same.

This

Linking Words

essay will support my opinion.

Firstly

Linking Words

, following a famous saying that, cash can never buy happiness and it is a fact. Every rich is not a happy person. Staying at ease with the blessings of God leads to peace of mind and soul. Simplicity is the best to describe

peace

Add an article

the peace

show examples

of mind. To illustrate, in our surroundings the majority of

folk

Use synonyms

refer to the manpower class and they are the most cheerful ones, peaceful and happy even with no money.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, with the growing trend of globalization and improvement, everyone with wealth as many

folk

Use synonyms

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that being wealthy is the only goal of their life that gives them satisfaction. Hereafter, it depends on the nature of society following

Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

a community

show examples

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

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who prefer to expose their assets to gain the popularity that eventually gives them happiness.

folk

Use synonyms

consider the admiration attained by their wage as a happy moment, but in

actual

Replace the word

actuality

show examples

it is not true.

For example

Linking Words

, rich

folk

Use synonyms

feel proud of their luxurious lifestyle and branded things. They feel happy with

assets

Correct pronoun usage

their assets

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and finance. In conclusion, I would say all wealthy

folk

Use synonyms

are neither happy nor

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

unhappy. Criteria of satisfaction are different for all and cash is not linked with happiness. Meet up with your caring family or maybe your best friend will make your life full of laughter

inka.r.purbaThu Feb 02 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause stress, and how can we reduce it?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The dangers and complexities of the modern world have made the mobile phone an absolute necessity for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the company's success, while others think various features of the organization play vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.