Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

#people #money #factor #happiness

According to

many

folk

Change to a plural noun

folks

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, prosperity is the single key to

enjoy

Wrong verb form

enjoying

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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life,

while

, others suggest that prosperity has no connection with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

joy and I agree with the same.

This

essay will support my opinion.

Firstly

, following a famous saying that, cash can never buy happiness and it is a fact. Every rich is not a happy person. Staying at ease with the blessings of God leads to peace of mind and soul. Simplicity is the best to describe

peace

Add an article

the peace

show examples

of mind. To illustrate, in our surroundings the majority of

folk

refer to the manpower class and they are the most cheerful ones, peaceful and happy even with no money.

On the other hand

, with the growing trend of globalization and improvement, everyone with wealth as many

folk

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that being wealthy is the only goal of their life that gives them satisfaction. Hereafter, it depends on the nature of society following

Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

Correct article usage

a community

show examples

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

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who prefer to expose their assets to gain the popularity that eventually gives them happiness.

folk

consider the admiration attained by their wage as a happy moment, but in

actual

Replace the word

actuality

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it is not true.

For example

, rich

folk

feel proud of their luxurious lifestyle and branded things. They feel happy with

assets

Correct pronoun usage

their assets

show examples

and finance. In conclusion, I would say all wealthy

folk

are neither happy nor

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

unhappy. Criteria of satisfaction are different for all and cash is not linked with happiness. Meet up with your caring family or maybe your best friend will make your life full of laughter

Submitted by inka.r.purba on Thu Feb 02 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that mothers should spend most of their time rasing their family , and therefore the government should support them financially. do you agree or dsagree?

Many young people today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. What is the reason, and what can be done to encourage a positive attitude to learning?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.