some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too iportant or too valuable to be shared freely

#people #information #research #business #world #iportant

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It is believed by some

people

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that sharing

information

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about scientific research,business, and academic fields is not a good idea

while

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others believe that all kinds of

information

Use synonyms

should not be freely accessible . With the advent of technology, every day huge volumes of data have publishing which

are

Change the verb form

show examples

free or not. From my point of view, these days

people

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can access a wide range of

information

Use synonyms

by using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cyberspace. So It is not efficient

trying

Replace the word

try

show examples

to hide some

information

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or prevent them from publicizing freely.

This

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essay will discuss both views on the mentioned topic. On one hand, many

people

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like myself think

that is

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better to get all

people

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free access to an array of

information

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. We think in

this

Linking Words

way since

Add a verb

isit

wasit

show examples

not formidable to utilize some websites which help you

accessing

Change the form of the verb

access

show examples

to the free version of a scientific

article

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or any other kind of publication.

Also

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, by

Correct article usage

the widespreding

show examples

widespreding

Correct your spelling

wide spreading

of updated

information

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people

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can have

Add an article

a more

show examples

comfortable life.

For example

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, if all

people

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can read a valuable

article

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in medicine field without paying, the health level of the

socaieties

Correct your spelling

societies

will be improved.

As a

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result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

many individuals share some useful

information

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to help each other which helps to have a more peaceful and qualified world.

On the other hand

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, some others think that the scholars and writers of articles and other kinds of publications make

lot

Add an article

a lot

show examples

effert

Correct your spelling

effort

efforts

to develop a publication and it is not fair to let many

people

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utilize the

information

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freely.

Although

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the mentioned opinion is true,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

people

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who do not know enough expertise and knowledge can not take advantage of any scientific

article

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. So, it does not to be

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

about the usage of any

article

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for free.

For example

Linking Words

, if someone

download

Change the verb form

downloads

show examples

article

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about the recent methods for using weight

Correct your spelling

for

show examples

free, he or she will not use it

proprely

Correct your spelling

properly

because in most cases they do not have knowledge. In conclusion, I guess that it

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

good idea to allow all

people

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accessing to various

information

Use synonyms

freely. I think in

this

Linking Words

way because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology removes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

boundaries and by accessing to free useful

information

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

can boost their health and other

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

traits which helps to have a better

worls

Correct your spelling

world

in the

forseeable

Correct your spelling

foreseeable

future.

Submitted by pouya.kohnechi on Thu Feb 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

376 words

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Certainly, let's enhance the essay to potentially achieve a Band 9 in IELTS Writing:

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too iportant or too valuable to be shared freely

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?