IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Junk food advertising has a harmful effect on society and should be banned. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#junk #food #effect #society
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Recently, it has been observed that the consumption of fast
food
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 has drastically increased all over the world.
According to
Linking Words
 some people,
advertisements
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 are to be blamed for
this
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 cause. They claim that putting a ban on the promotion of junk
food
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 is the only way to reduce its consumption. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
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 statement and will explain the reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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, there are several reasons why fast
food
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 promotion must be banned.
Firstly
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, children
spends
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spend
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majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of their time watching television. Fast
food
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 companies like McDonald’s purposely
advertises
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advertise
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 through kid’s shows and
attracts
Correct subject-verb agreement
attract
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 them into buying unhealthy
food
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.
A recent
Remove the article
Recent
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 research,
for example
Linking Words
, showed that 70% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
food
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 consumed by people after watching TV commercials.
Consequently
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advertisements
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 pose a great threat to people’s well-being.
In addition
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,
such
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advertisements
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 usually never showcase their ingredients to
public
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the public
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 may cause harmful
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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to
Change preposition
on
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 one’s self or
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Moreover
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,
large
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a large
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of sugar and oil added to fast
food
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 could result in high blood pressure, heart
diseases
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disease
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 and obesity. The sugar quantity,
for example
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, is not included in a
Coca Cola
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Coca-Cola
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 ad and people are unaware of how
such
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 promotions can negatively impact the health of their society. Resultantly,
advertisements
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 of junk foods may become a part of
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
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 daily diet. In conclusion, I believe advertisement of unhealthy cuisine is not only harmful but should completely be banned. The problem of excessive consumption of junk
food
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 can be
tacked
Correct your spelling
tackled
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 if authorities could place different restrictions to limit children’s exposure and by informing the public about the details of what they are buying.
Submitted by kamran_lashari81 on

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