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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. Why is this happening? How should they be punished?

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Nowadays,
children
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 and juveniles are people who engage in criminal activities more often in many nations. There are various reasons which lead to juvenile delinquents and they should be smitten of the level of unlawful acts that they commit. On the one hand, the commitment of juveniles is
contributed
Verb problem
attributed
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 to various factors.
First,
Linking Words
the lack of attention of
parents
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 is one of the main reasons leading
children
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 to participate in wrong activities. The
parents
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 often need to work around the clock and when they come back home, the stress of work makes them angry with family members, especially
children
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, who usually make mistakes at school and home.
This
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to the loneliness of minors and they tend to have unruly behaviours, which are the basis of illegal activities
Rephrase
apply
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then
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.
Second,
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early access to the internet and social media platforms is
also
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 able to make
children
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 behave in the wrong ways.
This
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 is because when adolescents approach the Internet, they cannot distinguish right from wrong in the news they read and the videos they
watched
Wrong verb form
watch
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.
For example
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, there are many TV programmes that are only suitable for adults because of
containing
Wrong verb form
contain
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 violent scenes, so when
children
Use synonyms
 watch them, it is able to affect their behaviours of
children
Use synonyms
 in bad ways.
On the other hand
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, there are many solutions to
solve
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apply
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address
this
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 problem. The foremost solution is that
parents
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 should be more pay attention to their
children
Use synonyms
 by spending more time playing with them, encouraging them when they face problems, and teaching them what is good behaviour and how to achieve that.
This
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 activity can direct adolescents to be good humans.
Furthermore
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, limiting the time of using devices and some apps, which are able to contain unavailable content is a better treatment for juveniles.
This
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 way
can avoid
Verb problem
,
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 the violent scenes affect the behaviours of
children
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.
Youtube kid
Correct your spelling
YouTube Kid
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,
for example
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, is an app where all
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 available for
children
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. In conclusion, the lack of attention from
parents
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 and the way
children
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 access the Internet are attributed to some main reasons.
In addition
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,
it is clear that
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this
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 problem can be easy to solve by paying more notices of
parents
Use synonyms
 to their
children
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 and limiting some apps, which
included
Wrong verb form
include
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 undesirable content.

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a partial response to the question by discussing reasons for juvenile delinquency and proposing solutions. However, the response lacks depth and specificity in addressing the reasons and solutions. A more comprehensive analysis of the causes and punishment methods is needed to fully address the task.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some coherence and organization, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure is somewhat disorganized, and there are coherence issues within and between paragraphs. Clearer topic sentences and stronger linkages between ideas are needed to improve coherence and cohesion.
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