Today our communications ,medical and transport systems all depend on computer technology . Our reliance on computer technology inthese has created a dengerous situation

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Nowadays our communication, medicine and transport systems are all

according to

Linking Words

desktop computer machinery. Our dependence on data processor automation in these spheres has made unsafe situations.

Although

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gadgets help us improve our vital condition and make our lives more comfortable. Despite

this

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, it may have some negative effects on our minds and health. In the 21st century automation has entered the lives of a large number of the public. Gadgets help us accelerate wore at the same time keeping quality, or society can use some types of transport in a job that they do not have enough strength.

For instance

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, women use washing machines in order to speed up the work process.

Also

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washing machine washes clothes better than crowds, and builders need excavators in the construction of buildings because they do not have enough strength to lift some heavy things. To make life easier and more convenient, the population should employ techniques. Society should not apply personal computer machinery a lot, it may have some negative effects on human health or on the development of the brain. When many public sit on their phones a lot of the time their eyesight gets worse.

For example

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, kids who play computer games the whole day are diagnosed as very nervous ,

moreover

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, they have less appetite in the USA. The solution to

this

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was to limit the amount of playing time. In conclusion, humans should employ data processor technology to make their lives more comfortable and improve vital conditions.

However

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, the population should help mobile phones in limit for their benefit

makemoneyizzy16Sat May 18 2024

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writing

Enhance sentence structures and vocabulary to make the writing more fluid and engaging.

writing

Expand on the examples provided with more details and explanations.

writing

Maintain a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay to strengthen coherence.

content

The essay addresses the topic and presents a balanced view of the positive and negative effects of reliance on computer technology.

content

The examples used, such as washing machines and excavators, are relevant and serve to illustrate the points made.

structure

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and provides a clear standpoint.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Today our communications ,medical and transport systems all depend on computer technology . Our reliance on computer technology inthese has created a dengerous situation

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Some companies sponsor sports and sports stars as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cities, people prefer riding bicycles rather than drive cars. In some other cities, people choose to drive cars rather than ride bicycles. What are the reasons for their preferences? Which one do you think is a better development?

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most siginificant influence. Discuss both views and opinion.