Today our communications ,medical and transport systems all depend on computer technology . Our reliance on computer technology inthese has created a dengerous situation

#communications #transport #systems #depend #computer #technology #reliance #inthese #dengerous #situation

Nowadays our communication, medicine and transport systems are all

according to

desktop computer machinery. Our dependence on data processor automation in these spheres has made unsafe situations.

Although

gadgets help us improve our vital condition and make our lives more comfortable. Despite

this

, it may have some negative effects on our minds and health. In the 21st century automation has entered the lives of a large number of the public. Gadgets help us accelerate wore at the same time keeping quality, or society can use some types of transport in a job that they do not have enough strength.

For instance

, women use washing machines in order to speed up the work process.

Also

washing machine washes clothes better than crowds, and builders need excavators in the construction of buildings because they do not have enough strength to lift some heavy things. To make life easier and more convenient, the population should employ techniques. Society should not apply personal computer machinery a lot, it may have some negative effects on human health or on the development of the brain. When many public sit on their phones a lot of the time their eyesight gets worse.

For example

, kids who play computer games the whole day are diagnosed as very nervous ,

moreover

, they have less appetite in the USA. The solution to

this

was to limit the amount of playing time. In conclusion, humans should employ data processor technology to make their lives more comfortable and improve vital conditions.

However

, the population should help mobile phones in limit for their benefit

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat May 18 2024

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writing

Enhance sentence structures and vocabulary to make the writing more fluid and engaging.

writing

Expand on the examples provided with more details and explanations.

writing

Maintain a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay to strengthen coherence.

content

The essay addresses the topic and presents a balanced view of the positive and negative effects of reliance on computer technology.

content

The examples used, such as washing machines and excavators, are relevant and serve to illustrate the points made.

structure

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and provides a clear standpoint.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today our communications ,medical and transport systems all depend on computer technology . Our reliance on computer technology inthese has created a dengerous situation

Art is considered an essential part of all cutures throughout the world.However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate it and turn their focus the science technology and business. why do you think this is ? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts.

Despite the existence of legal institutions such as courts to resolve differences between people, some people still think that it is better to settle for cases out of courts. To what extent so you agree ?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. What are the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

Some sports are considered extremely dangerous, but many people still like them. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.