More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

#people #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars

A major drawback in metro cities today is the

traffic

congestion caused

due to

increasing number of cars. Nowadays, people have become dependent on travelling with their personal vehicle, rather than utilising

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public transportation.

This

over dependency

Add a hyphen

over-dependency

show examples

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

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causes two main problems: increased air pollution and

traffic

jams on roads. In

this

essay, I will analyse the problems and provide possible solutions to

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. Private cars have increased in number

due to

the poor maintenance of public transport like city buses and metro rails,

thus

making it major means of transportation.

This

increased need to travel by private car

has

Add the particle

tohas

show examples

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

exponential

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an exponential

the exponential

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rise in air pollution. Even if one person is travelling he will prefer a

four seater

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four-seater

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vehicle over a two-wheeler or bicycle.

For example

, the Air Quality Index is degrading

day-by-day

Correct your spelling

day by day

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in Delhi and leading to several health problems because of the harmful gases

been

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

released into the atmosphere. The second main cause is

traffic

Add an article

a traffic

show examples

jam

Fix the agreement mistake

jams

show examples

on roads. Less number of people prefer travelling by metro rails, causing immense

traffic

during office hours. Owing to

this

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of the deaths became inevitable

due to

road accidents.

For instance

, in case of

emergencies

Add a comma

,emergencies

show examples

Correct your spelling

and

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Ambulance gets stuck in

traffic

for long hours. Government should look into

this

matter seriously and improvise the methods of public transport.

Additionally

, they should plan multiple stops all over the city to make it convenient for the general public. Promoting the use of bicycles can

also

be the way forward for decreasing the over-reliance on cars. The problem can be solved if all the individuals and Government officials work in harmony and change

ideologies

Correct article usage

the ideologies

show examples

of the community in

regards

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regard

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to the use of

personal

Add an article

the personal

a personal

show examples

vehicle

Fix the agreement mistake

vehicles

show examples

over other methods of transportation.

Submitted by Aishwarya on Thu Feb 02 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

289 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

it is working in a team is better than working alone.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? (plural, plural)

Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?