Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals opine that hard work and dedication are important for
getting
Verb problem
achieving
success
,while
others argue that wealth and an appealing personality are more intrinsic to fulfilling an aspiration . My opinion, I agree with the former view because success
achieved from great passion and interest is absolutely worthwhile as compared to name and fame .
To commence with the fact that why
some people have prior looks and funds for completing their desires. Rephrase
apply
This
might be due to
the wrong assumption that everything can be gained by money . Many individuals who belong to high classes are not interested in doing hard work because they can get easily whatever they want in their lives. Besides
, owing to escalated corruption rates in recent eras, individuals can get higher positions at their offices by just handing over large cash to their employers. One clear example is that high-standard people are directly hired by well-known companies without noticing their abilities for the position in order to raise the reputation of their workplace. That is
why money and appearance are considered vital nowadays.
However
, some people strongly mention that efforts
and dedication are imperative because of sufficient skills for any task . Many students are studying more in order to get the first position in their classroom and they will definitely pass their exams. Fix the agreement mistake
effort
Additionally
, the large concentration towards anything will surely become fruitful one day. For example
, my sister studied a lot in her high school grade and she got the first rank in her classroom. Therefore
, personality and hard work are the main steps behind becoming successful. Similarly
, I completely agree with these mentioned views .
In conclusion, success
can be either achieved by wealth , appearance or by determination whereas
,I vehemently believe that success
accessed through passion runs for a long time.Submitted by bandhana322 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure to ensure a smoother flow of ideas and arguments. Ensure a clear and comprehensive introduction and conclusion
task achievement
Expand on the examples provided to better support the main points. Ensure that all ideas are relevant to the topic and provide a complete response to the task