Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #determination #sucess #factors #money #appearance

Some individuals opine that hard work and dedication are important for

getting

Verb problem

achieving

show examples

success

while

others argue that wealth and an appealing personality are more intrinsic to fulfilling an aspiration . My opinion, I agree with the former view because

success

achieved from great passion and interest is absolutely worthwhile as compared to name and fame . To commence with the fact that

why

Rephrase

apply

show examples

some people have prior looks and funds for completing their desires.

This

might be

due to

the wrong assumption that everything can be gained by money . Many individuals who belong to high classes are not interested in doing hard work because they can get easily whatever they want in their lives.

Besides

, owing to escalated corruption rates in recent eras, individuals can get higher positions at their offices by just handing over large cash to their employers. One clear example is that high-standard people are directly hired by well-known companies without noticing their abilities for the position in order to raise the reputation of their workplace.

That is

why money and appearance are considered vital nowadays.

However

, some people strongly mention that

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

and dedication are imperative because of sufficient skills for any task . Many students are studying more in order to get the first position in their classroom and they will definitely pass their exams.

Additionally

, the large concentration towards anything will surely become fruitful one day.

For example

, my sister studied a lot in her high school grade and she got the first rank in her classroom.

Therefore

, personality and hard work are the main steps behind becoming successful.

Similarly

, I completely agree with these mentioned views . In conclusion,

success

can be either achieved by wealth , appearance or by determination

whereas

,I vehemently believe that

success

accessed through passion runs for a long time.

Submitted by bandhana322 on Thu Feb 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure to ensure a smoother flow of ideas and arguments. Ensure a clear and comprehensive introduction and conclusion

task achievement

Expand on the examples provided to better support the main points. Ensure that all ideas are relevant to the topic and provide a complete response to the task

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
In the light of proliferation of technology, it may indeed be true to claim the internet is increasingly becoming the focus of governments and citizens around the globe. There is a public debate that the government is spending a large amount of money improving internet access. In my opinion, it is quite difficult to decide whether to support or reject the statement above because each system has its good and bad points. The essay will examine the pros and cons of this trend.
4.5
band
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think that is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is undeniable that we are living in the modern era which sport play an indispensable role in life. In 2018, Vietnamese’s players of soccer won the U23 Asian Championship, which means that the general of public recognize sport as a lucrative profession. But some people believe that successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. In contrast, citizens think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. I see eye to eye both ideas. In this essay, I’m going to explain fully about the details.
7.5
band
Many people nowadays prefer online shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?
While some proponents around the globe opt for the direction of purchasing their goods and commodities on digital platforms, opponents decline this method and conversely believe in the ancient way of getting their products and supplies. I believe that obtaining our necessities and needs through virtual websites as well as social media platforms can benefit us in various aspects.
5.5
band
In some countries, children are often told that, they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In certain cultures, children are often advised that they are able to accomplish anything through hard work. This essay will suggest that, building self-confidence and increasing the creativity of individuals are the biggest advantages of this while setting up unrealistic goals and increasing anxiety and stress appear to be the preliminary disadvantages.
6.5
band
Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older should continue to be involved in the workplace. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, people are getting older, and some people opine that older should still work. However, in my opinion, that is not a good idea, and I will explain why in the following paragraphs.

Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Many people nowadays prefer online shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

In some countries, children are often told that, they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older should continue to be involved in the workplace. To what extent do you agree or disagree?