IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#minutes #topic #people #advertisements #products #lives
In recent times, advertising has become a
go to
Add a hyphen
go-to
show examples
 for everyone, in as much as it is not something new, in recent decades it is even more
intensed
Correct your spelling
intense
 with the
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 rise of social media platforms
such
 as
instagram
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Instagram
show examples
,
twitter
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Twitter
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and facebook
show examples
facebook
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Facebook
show examples
 just to name a few. I cannot agree that advertising encourages us to buy things that we do not need, even though it may be the case for a few, we cannot
over look
Correct your spelling
overlook
show examples
 the importance of
advertisement
 in keeping us in the know of recent development.
Firstly
,
advertisement
is use
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is used
show examples
 as a medium to reach out to a thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people who are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in a similar kind of
product
, it
also
 helps to create awareness
to
Change preposition
among
show examples
 others who may have no idea about the existence of that particular
product
. Malaria
medecines
Correct your spelling
medicines
are being advertise
Change the verb form
are being advertised
are advertising
show examples
 on
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
,
radio
Correct word choice
and radio
show examples
 stations, with instructions on how to take them and when to take them.
Also
, another example of
advertisement
Add an article
an advertisement
show examples
 that improves our lives is that which is related to weight loss benefits and how to achieve them. intermittent fasting is fast becoming a thing because of how well it is being sold in the media outlets, those who have followed can attest to the great improvement it has brought to their health and
lifetstyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
.
In addition
 to
this
,
advertisement
 keeps us
inform
Wrong verb form
informed
show examples
 about products, their originality, prices and composition, from an advert you can easily tell which
product
 is fake or not and
also
 at what price you can
conviniently
Correct your spelling
conveniently
 get them. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the fact that advertisements tell us about a new
product
 that can improve our lives contrary to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
believe
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
.
Submitted by kometapalvine on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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