It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people argue that

children

Use synonyms

's development in society today is affected by modern culture,

media

Use synonyms

, and peers,

whereas

Linking Words

others believe that family plays the most essential part.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with the latter point and will illustrate that, despite how easily a child can adapt to their environments,

parents

Use synonyms

are the first foundation who build their personality from a young age.

Children

Use synonyms

are easily exposed to modern environments in their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, especially with the advancement of technology nowadays.

This

Linking Words

constant exposure assists them to thrive in their daily activity. Most

children

Use synonyms

learn about new trends by connecting with

media

Use synonyms

, especially digital

media

Use synonyms

. On top of that, they share new ideas

while

Linking Words

communicating with their school peers they build connections.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they develop a better understanding of their surroundings.

For example

Linking Words

, most Australian

children

Use synonyms

have better cognitive improvements in technology after schools implement peer-learning techniques in teaching, as they receive feedback from their friends.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, family plays a major role in shaping the personality of

children

Use synonyms

since they

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

born. As

children

Use synonyms

live with the morals and values of their

parents

Use synonyms

, it is undeniable that they are the foundation that shapes the personality of their loved ones.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the contents of

media

Use synonyms

and modern cultures consumed by a child have to be permitted by

parents

Use synonyms

as they are the

guardian

Fix the agreement mistake

guardians

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that

parents

Use synonyms

influence most of the growth of their daughters and sons.

For instance

Linking Words

, most

parents

Use synonyms

have strict screen time and choose appropriate digital

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

for their

children

Use synonyms

to consume. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

some stand for the argument that the environments around

children

Use synonyms

are the major factor in their growth, I side with the one that believes core family is the most essential key for them to thrive. A strong connection from a family is the main key to the growth of a child.

vanessaverillFri Feb 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that each body paragraph addresses a different point of view and provides clear supporting examples for each perspective.

coherence and cohesion

Use more cohesive devices such as transition words to improve the flow of ideas and to connect different parts of the essay more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

influence
development
media
pop culture
peers
family
social skills
beliefs
values
emotional support
moral guidance
aspirations
self-image
social development
value system
harmony
conflict
significant
behaviors

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Is it a good thing if senior management workers in a company get a much higher salary than other workers in same company.Do you agree or disagree?
Many workers with greater experience are given higher salaries, while other worker in the same workplace do not get the same pay. In this essay I will explain why i believe that providing experienced workers with a larger pay cut is a beneficial.
<4
band
Some people say that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while other believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is debated that some individuals think that institutions have to give incentives for those who are the top students or the ones who are showing a good progress in term of education. I believe that both are significance as it helps to craete competitive academic environment.
8
band
Sports should be made mandatory for all children as it helps in their physical health. Do you agree or disagree
It is often argued that sports do not play a crucial role in children's education as it is believed that academic skills help students earn more and settle down without further complications. Most people agree that offspring must acquire educational skills and they also believe that physical skills are not mandatory. However, I agree with those who believe the opposite is true.
<4
band
Nowadays plastic waste is one of the most serious environment products in the world. What are the reason of at half to solve this problem?
It is undoubtedly the case that urban areas around the world increasingly suffer from plastic waste. There are several reasons for this problem, and various measures could be taken by governments and individuals to improve the situation.
8
band
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Before college, many young people are advised that a year of working or travelling may be a good option. This essay will suggest that experience gained and money saved are the biggest advantages of this, but delaying careers and reducing motivation to study are the primary disadvantages.

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Is it a good thing if senior management workers in a company get a much higher salary than other workers in same company.Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while other believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sports should be made mandatory for all children as it helps in their physical health. Do you agree or disagree

Nowadays plastic waste is one of the most serious environment products in the world. What are the reason of at half to solve this problem?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.