IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the environment may be destroyed because of tourism. Others, however, believe that it is a way to preserve nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #environment #tourism #nature
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Tourism become the backbone of every
country
Use synonyms
's economy. It is believed that travellers destroy our environment but on the opposite side, some communities
said
Wrong verb form
say
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 that it is the best way to preserve our nature. In my opinion, the company helped a lot to make the economy of the
country
Use synonyms
 stronger and every
country
Use synonyms
 should open its door to
tourists
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, when foreigners explore any
country
Use synonyms
, the people of that province get the chance to present their lifestyle, tradition and, culture to them. To explicate , citizens of the province always stay connected to their roots
due to
Linking Words
 the
tourists
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the trend of wearing Japanese clothes has been growing day by day. Because clothes are being shown to
tourists
Use synonyms
, they start liking those clothes. Evidently, it boosts the nation to preserve its tradition.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
tourists
Use synonyms
 create a lot of garbage and make the places dirty. To explain , visitors throw rubbish at the historical and religious places which
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
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 the environment of that area.
For example
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 decade, the highest mountain in Nepal
named
Verb problem
apply
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Mount Everest was
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the best place to see. Nowadays, that area is filled with waste which is spread by the
guest
Fix the agreement mistake
guests
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 who
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
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 there.
Thus
Linking Words
, it increases the level of pollution in the region which can
put
Verb problem
apply
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affect the health of that region's society. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 tourism creates a lot of damage to nature
yet
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it helps to provide jobs to the nation.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should impulse fine the public who endeavour to destroy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourist property
Submitted by ramandeep1512001 on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the task but lacks a clear opinion. Ensure that you state your own opinion clearly in the future.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of clarity and coherence. Work on providing a better structure for the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.
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